The Worst Luck
by nyladnam04
Summary: Harry switched careers and avoided Ginny in the year after the Final Battle. Eight years later, he's faced his fears. He and Ginny are dating, but bad luck seems to follow them. Warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilouge's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: Alcohol comsumption, over-protective Ron, horny Harry, Irish Muggle named Sean.

Disclaimer: HP is not mine.

A/N: The first three chapters only contain minimal humor. They are more of a set-up/backstory to the rest of the story.

A/N2: Much thanks to J for being a patient and helpful beta.

Chapter 1 - The Pub and the Friend

'_Why do I let them talk me into going to these things?'_ Harry thought, looking around the smoky pub. It had been only a week since Pride-of-Portree had won the league championship and they were finally free of the press and functions that went along with it. Tonight was about celebrating just with the team. There was no place in magical England where they could go without being recognized, so the team had ended up at a Muggle pub in London.

Harry stood with the thought of making excuses that he was tired when his eyes wandered to the dance floor where one of their Chasers was dancing with a Muggle man. He knew he'd stay until she left. With a sigh, Harry sat back down and motioned to the bartender for a refill.

All night long, thoughts would catch him off guard and the little voice in the back of his head that sounded a lot like Hermione was finally getting its point across -- why had he never gotten back with Ginny after the war?

'_Well,'_ he argued with himself, _'right afterwards there were so many funerals and so many things to do. I spent too much time helping track down Death Eaters and helping to rework the whole bloody government that it wouldn't have been fair to start up a relationship. Then she went away to school.'_

'_True,' _the Hermione voice answered back, _'but by November things were settling down. Ginny being away at school is a poor excuse because other couples managed to maintain a long-distance relationship just fine.'_

'_Not wanting to put her through a long-distance relationship isn't a bad reason!'_ he argued back. Sometimes he really did think old Rita had been right back in his fifth year. Arguing with the voices in his head had to make him unbalanced. Unfortunately the Hermione voice, much like Hermione herself, didn't give up an argument easily.

'_Fine, so the whole long-distance relationship is a weak but valid reason. However, Ginny has been out of school for years now!' _With a sigh, Harry stopped the internal argument. He knew the real reason he had never tried to pick back up with Ginny, and didn't want to think about it now.

It had been nine years since the defeat of Voldemort. During that time Harry had become good friends with Ginny, better than they had ever been at Hogwarts. In fact, she ranked right up with Ron and Hermione and many days she was ahead of them, especially after his oldest friends had gotten married. Unfortunately, being friends with Ginny didn't make the images of what he would like to do with her go away. They were probably even worse. Tonight however, the alcohol, the music, the sexy clothing and the post-season euphoria were making his fantasizing worse than usual.

Her auburn hair was pulled back into a wavy ponytail, making him wonder what it would look like cascading down onto her naked shoulders or wild and tangled after sex. The top she wore was black dragon hide with thin straps on her shoulders and laced up the front. He imagined untying the front and pushing the straps off her shoulders. What sounds would she make when he was exploring her breasts with his hands and mouth? The short green skirt she had on made him picture what it would look like pushed up to her waist. Would she scream with pleasure if he were rough? Moan with longing if he were gentle?

Those impossibly high heels were a huge turn on. He smiled as he fantasized about her wearing only those shoes. In his mind she had her legs wrapped around his waist and he had her pressed up against a wall in his bedroom. Her lips were driving him mad, even more than they usually did. They were a deep colour, not quite red, but a much sexier shade than the pouty pink she normally wore. He wondered if they would kiss and taste different than he remembered. He wanted to see those lips travel from his mouth down his chest, to wrap around his…

"Harry, mate, would you mind keeping an eye on Ginny?" Ron's voice startled Harry from his very unchaste thoughts.

"Huh? Do what?" Harry had heard Ron speak, but hadn't really understood what was being said. He shook his head to clear it and then imagined jumping naked into a freezing waterfall. It almost did the trick. He prayed Ron hadn't suddenly mastered Legilimency.

"What about Ginny?" he asked still slightly befuddled.

"Would you keep an eye on her?" Thankfully Ron's eyes were firmly locked on his sister and not on his best mate's glassy eyes. "She's blasted and getting fawned over by some Irish bloke. I want to make sure she gets home okay. She won't listen to me or Hermione. Would you stay and keep her safe?"

'_My best friend's little sister,'_ Harry thought to himself, _'and one of my best friends.'_ "Sure, Ron, though I'll probably leave soon, too."

"I don't think _you'll_ have any problem getting her to leave. I think she's almost ready to pass out as it is." Hermione's voice trailed off as she shot a worried look at her friend dancing provocatively with a stranger. "If you tell her it's time to leave she'll listen. She's mad at Ron because he pulled the Big Brother routine on her. Apparently, I'm also in on an evil plot to keep all men away from her." She rolled her eyes and smiled.

Ron scowled. "She looks like a scarlet woman! You should see the way most of the guys in here are eyeing her. Thank Merlin that Kirstie and Anya are both here as well. I'm betting all the men would be after Ginny if those two weren't drawing their eyes. What's the deal on Pride hiring pretty girls for Chasers anyway? Maybe I should bring that up to management, you know, as an owner and all." Ron's smirk caused his wife and best friend to roll their eyes.

Ever since WWW had bought a controlling share of the Pride-of-Portree Quidditch team, Ron had been lording it over Ginny and Harry, who played Chaser and Seeker for the team respectively. No one really knew why Ron and George had chosen to buy shares in Pride over the Cannons since neither Harry nor Ginny had been on the team when the deal went through. Hermione had speculated the managers may have thought they had a better chance to get Harry and Ginny if WWW was a partner. However, since Ron and George's involvement in the team had been kept a secret until after both of them had been hired onto Pride, Harry doubted this was the case.

Harry shook his head and decided to change the subject. Much like whenever he won chess, once Ron started bragging about being a team owner it was best to cut him off quickly.

"You just want to leave so you two can go shag." Harry's smirk would have done the elite of Slytherin House proud. Hermione blushed nearly as red as Ron's hair, but Ron's face didn't even get slightly pink.

"Well, yeah. It's okay to admit that you're jealous. You don't have your own wicked witch to shag." Ron gave a sly grin, but a look at his sister on the dance floor sobered him up pretty quickly. "Thanks again, mate. We'll see you later." Harry watched as his friends walked hand-in-hand to the back door of the club. He knew they would Apparate once they got into the deserted back alley.

Harry turned his attention back to the rest of his team. It looked like it was down to Ginny and himself since the only other player still in the pub was currently heading his way pulling her purse over her shoulder. He smiled vaguely at Kirstie Carver and noticed a Muggle man seemed to be hanging back waiting for her to talk to Harry.

"I think I'm going to head out with Jude." Kirstie flashed her trademark smoky look over her shoulder and the poor man appeared to melt, smiling sloppily back at her. Harry chuckled at her antics.

"I'm planning on leaving here soon as well. I'm just waiting on Ginny to finish dancing with that bloke and then I'll help her get home." Harry sighed, but didn't notice the knowing look in his friend's eyes.

"You know Harry," Harry was too drunk to notice the sly tone to her voice. "I know Ginny gets all upset when her brothers get all Neanderthal on her, but I doubt she'd mind if _you_ would cut in." Kirstie smiled noticing that Harry's attention was only barely on her, he was so focused on the red-head dancing. "Good luck, Harry."

Harry assumed she was talking about Quidditch since he and Ginny had both been chosen to represent England on the National Team this year. Kirstie had been selected for her own native Sweden, so he wished her luck as well but didn't really notice her giggling as she walked out the door with her Muggle man.

Harry's thoughts had turned impure the moment Kirstie had mentioned that Harry should cut in on Ginny's dance partner.

'_Merlin, I want to feel her body up against mine. Naked. Yeah, her breasts pressed against my chest. What kind of sounds would she make if I slide my tongue inside her? She's never been quiet; would she moan or scream or make soft little sighing sounds? Would she grip my hair or would she stretch her arms over her head? What would she taste like? The freckles on her skin make me think of strawberries in cream….cream…I would love to lick cream off her body, or have her lick it off mine. Would she arch her back when she came? Would she beg for more? Would she…'_

The man Ginny was dancing with was starting to get a little too friendly and she was gently trying to push him away from her, which effectively changed Harry's thoughts.

'_Would her brothers kill you outright or would they pick a slow and painful death if they knew the thoughts you were having about their baby sister? Get a grip! You gave her up because you couldn't protect her before and now Ron's asked you to watch out for her again and you're screwing it up because you can't get her off your mind. FOCUS, POTTER!'_

That thought sobered him up. '_Time to cut in,'_ he thought sourly. _'We'll go with the Big Brother approach.'_ Harry made his way quickly to the couple on the dance floor.

"Hey, Sis." Ginny looked around at Harry with a confused expression on her face. "We need to get going. We promised George and Ron that we'd help them in the shop tomorrow and I'm knackered. Your place is closer. Do you mind if I crash there?"

Harry barely refrained from glaring at the man in front of him whose arms were protectively wrapped around Ginny. Luckily, she was much quicker on the uptake than any of her brothers, even when she was drunk, and a look of comprehension flitted across her face. She pushed hard away from the black-haired Muggle man and looked up at him politely.

"Sean, I've had a wonderful time but Harry's right. I need to get going. M…Our brothers are counting on our help in the morning and I need to go home and get some sleep. Yeah Harry, you can crash at my place. Thanks again for the dancing, Sean." With that Ginny took Harry's arm and pulled him to the back door of the club, leaving a speechless Sean behind.

"Thanks, Harry. I know Ron asked you to keep an eye on me. You didn't have to, but I appreciate it. Don't tell Ron, but that guy was getting a little difficult to handle. I told him I wasn't going to have sex with him, but well, he…" Her voice trailed off in embarrassment.

"He wasn't taking 'No' for an answer?" Ginny nodded. Harry forced himself to keep walking. Turning back and hexing the man would only make for a long night with awkward questions from the Obliviators and Magical Law Enforcement Squads. "I thought so. I figured he wouldn't argue too much with a protective brother and asking to stay at your place pretty much put the kibosh on him coming over." They had reached the Apparation point in the alley behind the club.

"Thanks. I'm glad I have you looking out for me." It happened so quickly Harry wasn't sure if he imagined it or not. Ginny rose up on her tiptoes and placed a small, chaste kiss on his cheek, like normal. However it wasn't his cheek that she hit; it was the corner of his mouth. Her mouth was parted and Harry swore he felt a flick of her tongue against his lips. A moment later, she was stepping back from him. With a smile and a whirl of red hair, she Disapparated.

Harry touched the spot where she had kissed him. '_What had just happened?' _his mind screamed. Images of pushing her up against the wall in the alley he was standing in crashed into his brain, and he could almost feel her tongue in his mouth. Harry closed his eyes in an effort to stop the images, then turned and Disapparated. Moments later he was standing in the hallway outside of his flat, and nearly fell over in surprise. Ginny was leaning against the door looking impatient and just a little ill.

"Took you long enough, Potter." She was scowling at him, but the effect was diminished by the amusement in her eyes. "I lost my key and didn't want to stumble in on anything at Ron and Hermione's house to get my spare. Do you mind if I just crash here? I'll just borrow something of yours to sleep in."

Harry just smiled and nodded as he unlocked the door and both of them headed into the spacious flat. He had to work pretty hard at keeping, _'You could just sleep naked next to me.'_ from escaping from his mouth.

'_Damn, I've got to get away from her! I'm drunk and horny and who knows what I'll say!' _He tried not to stare too hard when she walked into his room as though she did so every day and started rummaging around in his dresser. Ginny quickly emerged with a grey tank top he never wore and a pair of blue and grey flannel pyjama pants that didn't fit him any longer. She stumbled a bit as she stood up and Harry's arm shot out automatically to steady her. "You okay?" He looked down into her eyes and noticed they were a little glazed. Apparently she was drunker than she had let on.

"Yeah, I think the, uh, the w-whiskey is finally catching up to me. I'm okay now. Do you mind if I use your loo to get changed?" Ginny gave a giggle that was more high-pitched than normal and stumbled a little on her way to Harry's bathroom. Harry quickly changed into a pair of black pyjama bottoms and climbed into his bed. A few minutes later, Ginny came out and crawled in next to him. She was out before her head even hit the pillow. Harry smiled as his eyes closed, too tired and drunk to remember that he had a spare bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilogue's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: Hangovers, ackwardness, angst/drama, sex, and Quidditch-Sex analogies.

Disclaimer: HP is not mine.

A/N: The first three chapters only contain minimal humor. They are more of a set-up/backstory to the rest of the story.

A/N2: Much thanks to J for being a patient and helpful beta.

Chapter 2 – The Morning After and the Sex

Harry woke up slowly. The first thing he became aware of was that his head felt like he had tried the Wronski Feint, but had ploughed head-first into the pitch, instead of pulling up. His mouth, he realized, tasted like a pygmy puff had crawled inside, shed all its fur and then died. The light pressing onto his closed eyelids was the next thing he noticed. It was like someone had turned the sunlight into ice picks and was trying to drill them into his brain by way of his eye sockets. He rolled slightly to his left, seeking the darkness of his pillow, when he felt something that drove the pain in his head completely away.

He wasn't alone in his bed.

'_Is this my bed?'_ The panic Harry felt at that moment was huge. He never, _ever_ went home with a woman when he'd been drinking. Bringing a witch to his flat was out of the question as well because then she'd be able to tell the press where to find him and Muggle women wouldn't have made it past the Repelling Charms. _'So, where am I?'_

It may have been years since he had spent time as an Auror, but the training had never really left him. Using all of the senses had been a favourite lesson of Robards and had been one Harry had excelled at. The hangover and lack of glasses made using his eyes a bad idea, so he began with his ears.

The person beside him was breathing steadily, so he assumed she was still asleep. At least, Harry hoped it was a she. Before he could panic about being so drunk he went home with a man, he listened intently for the sounds from outside the room they were in. He couldn't hear anything indicating there was someone else in the flat or house, but he heard some birds chirping outside of the window. It wasn't long before he realized he heard cars and trucks outside, and to his relief, he heard Old Man Jensen yelling at the delivery driver, just like every morning. Harry was in his own flat.

That still didn't tell him who was in bed with him or how the person had got there. He tried cracking open an eye, but closed it again right away when the pain in his head made him nauseous. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he realized he could smell something familiar that he knew wasn't from his flat.

He took another deep breath trying to remember where he had smelled that flowery scent before. It hit him that the scent came from the woman pressed up against him at the same time his brain kicked in. It was Ginny's hair.

'_Oh bloody hell! What did I do last night?!'_ Harry began panicking. '_How did I end up in bed with Ginny Weasley?'_ He knew he was wearing pyjama bottoms and a quick run of his hand from her hip to her waist proved that she was wearing some sort of a top and bottoms.

While he pushed his mind to remember what happened the previous night, he didn't really notice that his body was taking advantage of its position, gently pressing his erection against the curve of her backside. After several minutes, he had finally recalled most of the night before, including Ginny falling asleep next to him when he felt Ginny press back against him, grinding against his hard penis.

__________________________________________________

It was one of those damn dreams again. It was frustrating and altogether unsatisfying, but bloody hell, she just couldn't stop!

'_At least I don't have a roommate to yell at me for calling out Harry's name in my sleep anymore.'_ Ginny smiled, imagining the feel of Harry's hands lightly tracing her body and pressing up against her as he spooned her from behind. As far as fantasies went, this was pretty tame, but it was a more difficult dream for Ginny than simply imagining having really hot sex with Harry Potter. This fantasy was something more than a physical relationship. It hurt a little to think that she might never experience waking up next to him.

"Mmmm. Harry, that feels nice." Dimly, she registered that she was talking out loud, but she was still in that wonderful land between dreams and reality. She arched her back, thinking she would rub up against a pillow or her balled up duvet. It was the hard body pressing back against her that shocked her awake.

"Merlin, Gin." The groan came from close to her ear and a large hand gripped her hip. She could easily feel the man's erection sliding over her bum. Her eyes flew open and she winced a little as her hangover made itself known.

'_Who the bloody hell is behind me?'_ She took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself, but they only served to make her chest heave, which made her wonder if he had touched her breasts, which made her wonder if they were naked, which made her wonder… _'Oh fuck, I'm not on any potions and I know I can't cast the charm drunk! If I'm pregnant, Mum will yell at me until I'm deaf right after Coach Dawson gets through murdering me! My career is over and my brothers won't ever leave me alone again!'_ This didn't help with the whole calming breath thing and it wasn't long before she was hyperventilating.

She didn't notice when the man shifted away and shook her, but she did notice when she received a full blast of cold water to her face. Ginny looked up, ready to yell at the bastard who'd gotten her pregnant, only to find herself speechless.

"Are you okay? Merlin, Ginny, you were scaring me!" Harry's eyes were intense and the concern in them was palpable. When he noticed she had calmed down, he looked away sheepishly. "Sorry about hitting you with _Aguamenti_, but you didn't seem to notice when I yelled your name."

Taking a deep breath, Ginny gathered her inner Gryffindor and asked the burning question. "Harry, did we have sex last night?" The guilty look on his face did not bode well for his answer.

"No," Ginny breathed a sigh of relief and wondered at his odd expression. "No, we just came back here after the team party at that pub. We were both drunk. You couldn't find your keys and didn't want to go to Ron and Hermione's for your spare set."

Well, that answered most of her questions. "I could hex Bill for setting my wards so tight. The only way in is through a secure Floo or with keys that have the ward's signature on it. Bloody frustrating is what it is." She looked at Harry, but feeling her face begin to flush at being so close to his naked chest, she quickly looked away and said the first thing that came to mind.

"If you'll let me take a shower first, I'll make a big Weasley breakfast for us." She glanced up again just in time to see Harry turn to look at a clock by his bed.

"That's fine." Harry stood up and seemed to be thinking hard about something before he spoke up again. "Everything you need should be in the bathroom. I think I have some old jeans we can size for you and it's not like you don't steal my shirts all the time anyway." Ginny giggled a little at that. It was true; Harry was always complaining that all of his most comfortable shirts ended up in Ginny's possession.

Harry rubbed his forehead, "I think some Hangover Helper is in order. Do you want yours before or after your shower?"

Ginny thought about it for a minute and decided the bright lights of Harry's bathroom would be too much for her head. "Definitely before." Harry nodded and walked out of his bedroom towards his kitchen where Ginny knew he stored his potions, so she followed him.

Soon they were both making faces at the awful taste and sighing in relief. Ginny felt much more like herself. The pain and fuzziness in her head had made it difficult to focus and be rational. Now that the fog had lifted, she realized she had a perfect opportunity to find out if the looks and gentle flirting Harry had sent her way the last few months meant anything.

Ginny cast a quick breath-freshening charm on herself and then on Harry. The Hangover Helper relieved the aches and pains of drinking too much, but only made your breath worse. Harry smiled in thanks, which caused Ginny's stomach to do its familiar swoop. Suddenly, escaping to the shower seemed like a terrible idea.

"So, did you have fun with the bloke you were dancing with?" Harry's question threw Ginny completely off guard, but it was the hard look in his eyes that had her narrowing her own.

"Yeah, well, he did ask me to dance. I would have rather danced with someone, er, better, but no one better asked." He seemed to perk up a little.

"How do you determine if someone is _better_?" Harry's voice had become lower and the temperature in the kitchen seemed to rise several degrees.

Ginny's tongue darted out to wet her lips and she couldn't help but notice that his eyes were focused on the action. "I, well it's not something I can really describe. I'd just know." Harry had taken a couple of steps towards her, but stopped at her reply. '_Damnit, Ginny! You're making him think you aren't interested in him. Suck up the Gryffindor pride and go for it!'_

She took a deep breath and forced herself to look directly into those deep green eyes. "Better would be someone that makes my heart beat faster. I'd want to touch him." She took a step towards Harry, which put her only an arm's length away. "I wouldn't be able to stop myself, in fact."

Still looking into his eyes, she reached up and ran her fingers gently over his cheek. Harry sucked in a breath, which made Ginny feel as though he was drawing her to him. She took another small step to him and moved her thumb over his lips. His eyes darkened and narrowed and he seemed to be searching her for an answer to his unasked question. "You're better," she whispered.

In a flash, he had pulled her flush to him and his lips crashed onto hers.

______________________________________________________________________________

Harry Potter had never felt that the phrase 'Quidditch _is_ life' applied to him. He only followed the trainers' specific diets during the season, he worked out because he still saw himself as a skinny shrimp and he rarely compared anything to Quidditch. Even after living with Seamus Finnegan, 'King of the Sexual Euphuisms' for six years Harry had never thought of sex and Quidditch as remotely similar.

That is, until now. It wasn't the things he had heard his dorm-mates discussing that came to mind, however. Seamus would have been disappointed that not once did Harry think that his fingers were "seeking her Golden Snitch" or that "Ginny had a lovely set of Quaffels." When he finally slid his penis inside of her, it never occurred to him to ask Ginny to ride his broomstick.

Honestly, there was very little thinking being done other than, _'Merlin, Ginny's mouth feels SO good' _and _'She shuddered when I licked right…THERE.'_ Somewhere in the back of his mind, however, he was making comparisons to Quidditch.

It was the way she moved with him now that made him think of how she moved in the air. Ginny was constantly in motion, changing positions and running her hands and mouth over his body. There was a sense of teamwork the entire time.

Sex with Ginny was like flying on his Lightening Bolt: fast and furious, but smooth and graceful. Like his broom, she responded to the slightest of his touches (and he to her own caresses as well).

He felt Ginny clench around him more than once. The moment she straddled him and then flipped around to face his legs, he came undone. The last coherent thought was that he had fantasized about Ginny flying naked when they were in school.


	3. Chapter 3

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilogue's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: Angst/drama, Molly vs Fleur feud, past child abuse, slightly graphic violence and minor character death, allusions to drunk and disorderly conduct, friendly Slytherins.

Disclaimer: HP is not mine.

A/N: The first three chapters only contain minimal humor. They are more of a set-up/backstory to the rest of the story.

A/N2: Much thanks to J for being a patient and helpful beta.

Chapter 3 – The Talk and the Reason

Ginny lay on top of Harry, her back to his chest, her skin slowly cooling. _'I should have just cornered the prat right after the Final Battle and snogged him until he gave in' _she thought. _'I could have been having sex like THAT for years!'_

Unfortunately, the more her skin cooled, the more her brain started to engage.

'_What exactly does this mean?' _Logically, she knew Harry would never have sex with her just because he was randy. He just wasn't like that. _'He's never said he wanted to be anything more than friends since school, though.'_It was time to dig deep for that Gryffindor courage yet again and ask him.

"Was this just an opportunity, or what?" she whispered. She felt Harry let out a shuddering breath and then he gently pushed her off of his chest. He stood up and quickly found a pair of pants for himself and threw a large shirt at Ginny without looking at her. After several tense moments in which there was much sighing, pacing, and hair ruffling, Ginny pulled the shirt on and decided to speak again.

"It's just…you never acted interested in me until a few months ago. In fact, you went out of your way to distance yourself from me during my last year at Hogwarts. I didn't even know you'd quit the Aurors and joined Puddlemere until I saw it in the _Prophet_. I didn't see you at all until Puddlemere played against the Harpies the first time and then you treated me like I was a little sister or something. You were a right prat for another whole year. Then after that incident with those two Slytherin bints, you're suddenly all nice again and introduce me to people as one of your closest friends." Ginny took a deep breath.

"I love that we are good friends. You've been wonderful to me, but any time I've hinted I would be interested in something more than friendship with you, you've always made jokes or changed the subject. It's been what, ten years since we dated and suddenly you start flirting with me? Now, out of the blue, we have sex.

"I know why I had sex with you – it's no secret that I've liked you for years. What I want to know is why did you have sex with me?" Ginny grimaced inwardly. _'I need to stop letting my inner Ron control my mouth.'_

Harry didn't look angry any longer, though. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair yet again. It was a familiar sign that he was nervous or agitated about something.

"You're right," he spoke to the duvet with a resigned tone. "You have the right to know this more than anyone else. I should have told you years ago."

Ginny had no idea what he meant, but Harry confessing something to her was nearly unprecedented. Other than a couple of minor things, the last time had been immediately after the Final Battle. He had told her about the Horcruxes, Snape, the Hallows and that his last thought before getting hit with the Killing Curse had been of her. Foolishly, she had assumed that meant he wanted to get back together, but it had never happened.

"Why didn't you?" she asked quietly.

He didn't look up from his bed. "Partly because I was really messed up for a long time, but mostly because I didn't think it mattered if you knew since I didn't plan on acting on my feelings for you."

"Your feelings for me?"

He smiled faintly. "Yeah, since I was sixteen." Her eyes widened, but he didn't look up to see her surprise.

They were both silent for a moment before Harry glanced at the clock. "How about we make breakfast, er, well lunch, and I'll tell you the short version while we eat."

When Ginny nodded, he started walking towards the kitchen again. "You can decide after that if you want to, er, continue with this or just write me off as a proper head case."

Ginny couldn't resist one small dig, however. "Oh Harry, I've known you were a proper head case since I was ten." She giggled when he stuck out his tongue at her and then gave her a two-finger salute.

______________________________________________________________________

'_Thank Merlin for Molly Weasley,'_ Harry thought to himself as he looked in his ice box. There sitting on his top shelf was a large container of beef stew with a note stuck to it, saying that a loaf of homemade bread was in his pantry. He pulled the stew out and turned to Ginny with a smile.

"Your mum is still convinced I won't eat unless she puts food in front of me," he said as he placed the container on the table. Ginny flicked her wand and instantly steam began to rise and the savoury smell of beef and vegetables filled the small kitchen.

"Thanks for that. I either burn it whenever I try to use that charm or the food isn't heated all the way through." Ginny's response was muffled since Harry had his head in the pantry looking for the bread. He figured it was probably not something he wanted to hear anyway. She was always taking the mickey out that he could make a four-course meal the Muggle way, but couldn't wash dishes with magic without breaking them. He even broke the ones that were charmed to be unbreakable.

He found the bread and looked around to see that Ginny was opening and shutting cupboards.

"Where, exactly, have you hidden your bowls?" she asked, sounding exasperated. Harry just chuckled and pointed to the cupboard that the bowls were currently located in.

"Sorry about that. Your mum and Fleur are having an all out war over my kitchen. Every time one of them is here, they rearrange it on me. Supposedly it's to help with the flow of my kitchen or to make it more efficient or because it will make me want to cook. Really, it's that each of them think that, since I don't have a wife, it's their job to take care of my home." He rolled his eyes when Ginny bent over laughing. "It's not funny. It takes me a week to find where everything is again after one of them rearranges it and it never lasts more than a couple of weeks before it's changed again!"

Ginny was still chuckling as she pulled two bowls out and found a couple of clean spoons. Before long, they were both sitting down to steaming stew and warm bread and Harry was trying to decide how to begin.

"Alright, if I'm going to tell you this, you can't be interrupting me constantly, got it?" Ginny nodded. "The short version is that I didn't feel comfortable trying to restart something with you when you had just lost a brother and there were so many others we were mourning."

Ginny began to say something, but a quick look from Harry caused her mouth to snap shut. He looked back down at the table and continued.

"After the funerals, I was really involved in helping rebuild the Ministry and with Auror training. I remember getting up at five in the morning and getting home after midnight some days. It didn't seem fair to tell you how I felt when I wouldn't be able to be there for you. Then you went off to school and I was still working crazy hours so I convinced myself that a long-distance relationship wouldn't be fair to either of us if I couldn't put in any effort." He paused to take a couple of bites of his stew and Ginny took that opportunity to voice her opinion.

"That's a load of dragon dung and you know it." Harry didn't look up at her, just shrugged and continued eating his stew. "I would have been better off having you to lean on after Fred died and I would have understood that we couldn't see each other much because of training and school. We could have helped each other, though. I mean, look at Ron and Hermione or George and Angelina. None of them would have healed nearly as well without each other."

Harry finally looked up, most likely because his bowl was now empty. "I know that _now_. In fact, I had realized that by November."

Ginny looked confused, "Then why didn't you do anything about it? All you would have had to do was send me an owl or say something to me over winter break." Harry held up his hand and Ginny trailed off.

With a sigh, he started talking again. "That had actually been my plan. I had already bought your Christmas present and I meant to give it to you when I asked you if you wanted to date again." Ginny looked like she was going to interrupt yet again, but decided against it.

"So I had made this plan in November that I was going to ask you out again and tell you that I wanted forever, though I wasn't proposing or anything," he said hastily. Ginny looked a little shocked at this, but let him continue.

"I was cutting back on my hours and Robards had put me on field training with him as my direct supervisor. We caught up to a couple of Death Eaters near the middle of November and I, er, brought down Dolohov. I used much more force than necessary, but since he had been pretty vicious, it was ruled as self-defence and I was given an off-the-books citation. About a week later, we caught Lucius Malfoy and a few other Death Eaters. Malfoy held up his hands in surrender since he didn't have a wand, but I still stunned him. Hard. It was more powerful than anything I'd ever cast before that I'm aware of. He was knocked out for a few days and I was given a suspension from field duty. They assigned me to trial duty for two weeks and the trials I witnessed…" He trailed off and was quiet for several moments before sighing and resuming.

"The trials I witnessed made me take a hard look at my own past and what that meant for my future. I didn't feel like I would be able to offer you what you deserved because of my past. I was _really_messed up for a few months. I was drinking and, er, other stuff, a lot. Kingsley and Robards finally cornered me in March and told me that I needed to decide what I wanted to do and that maybe I needed to take a break for awhile.

"I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I agreed. One day, out of the blue, Ron said something about Quidditch and I decided to try out with Puddlemere. I didn't tell anyone but Kingsley and Robards. Ron and Hermione found out about it from the paper, too. I gave them an excuse for leaving the Aurors later.

"Anyway, I was still really messed up for a long time. I only came to terms with my past a couple of years ago. Andi and Teddy were the ones to finally knock some sense into me. Of course, you were dating someone at the time and I never seemed to catch you when you were in between boyfriends.

"After awhile I just assumed you had moved on and left it at that. I don't know why I decided to take a chance today, but I'm glad I did." He stopped speaking and looked down at his lap. Ginny stared at him for a moment. She seemed lost in thought and, for once, didn't appear ready to speak. Harry picked up another piece of the warm bread and savoured each bite in silence, waiting for her response.

Eventually, she spoke - loudly. "Harry James Potter, that makes absolutely no sense! You _suddenly_ decide that you want to speak with me about, _about forever_? A _trial_ is what makes you change your mind and avoid me for _two years_. A _trial_ is what _messes you up_?! I've known you since you were eleven and between you, Ron and Hermione, I've heard all about your past. What, _exactly_, could have been so awful?" She took a deep breath and Harry, knowing her as well as he did, knew better than to cut her off. The twins had told Harry years ago that it was wise to cut off their mum before she got a full head of steam going. Ginny knew that trick, had in fact been the one to discover it, and using it on her only guaranteed that she'd hex you with something nasty.

"I thought the reason you were no longer an Auror was medical. Hermione said that the potion combination for your migraines was illegal for Aurors to use. What am I missing?" She paused again to glare at him. "I need the full story, Harry. I need it now."

'_I was afraid of this,' _he thought, steeling himself to relive some of his worst memories.

"Fine," he said, pushing the food away from him. "If I'm going to tell you this, though, you have to promise me that what we talk about here stays here." Ginny looked surprised, but nodded.

Harry gave her a hard look. "I mean it. There are only three other people who know the full story and another four that only know part of it. Your dad is the only one in your family who knows anything and that's only because he was Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the time. I don't plan on ever telling Ron or Hermione or anyone else. In fact, you are the only one of my friends that I'd tell the whole story to." He finally looked up at Ginny and saw that her eyes were wide and she was slightly paler than normal.

"You really mean that? You trust me that much?" she whispered. He nodded. She pulled out her wand and laid it across her chest. "I solemnly swear on my magic that I will not share what Harry Potter tells me today with anyone he doesn't want me to." Her wand glowed white briefly.

"You didn't need to do that. I know you'd never tell anyone else." He looked at the ceiling and blew out a deep breath. With a flick of his wrist, he summoned two bottles of Butterbeer, passed one to Ginny and then began speaking.

___________________________________________________________________________

Ginny sat in her flat late that night, thinking over everything she had learned earlier in the day. It was overwhelming to say the least. Shock, excitement, despair, joy, and horror had each had a turn with her emotions, making her cry one moment and smile the next.

She was proud of Harry that he had agreed to attend counselling with the department Mind Healer when he had started Auror training. It hadn't surprised her that Kingsley and her father had basically forced him into it, but he had continued with the sessions for several years after quitting the Aurors.

The reason for leaving the Aurors had been one of the shocks. Harry hadn't quit the Aurors due to the migraine potions being illegal for Aurors to use. He had left because of "anger issues," among other things.

Ginny had laughed when he had told her that until he had explained.

Harry hadn't "taken down" Dolohov by Stunning him or something similar. He had slit the man's throat with the Sectumsempra curse. Harry had looked so remorseful telling Ginny about taking the man's life. He had seen Dolohov use the same curse on another Auror that the Death Eater had used on Hermione at the end of Ginny's fourth year at school. Harry lost it and was out for revenge, instead of subduing a criminal. He was given a mild citation because Dolohov had sent a Killing Curse at Harry just before he was killed. The citation meant that Harry wasn't allowed to actively participate in the field for a few weeks, except to defend himself or civilians.

It would have been fine, except the Aurors cornered Lucius Malfoy a week later. Malfoy made a sign of surrender, but Harry, again, acted in revenge. He used an emotionally charged Stunner on Malfoy that knocked the man out for several days. Harry was put on probation and forced to be the guard for the Death Eater trials scheduled for December.

When Harry had first said the trials he had witnessed had made him take a serious look at his past, Ginny had been trying to keep from getting angry. She had assumed he had witnessed trials of major Death Eaters. It would be just like Harry to compare the spells he had used in defence to the curses they had used to terrorize others.

She was shocked to learn he had been the guard for the trials of Death Eaters and their supporters their own age. He had sat through trial after trial of witches and wizards he had been in class with, who admitted under Veritaserum that they only participated out of fear of their own parents. Sure, there had been a few that truly believed and supported Riddle's cause, but there hadn't been many. Apparently Snape had done well with his students by telling them exactly what to expect as Death Eaters.

Harry had listened day after day about the punishments his schoolmates had received from their families and many had been eerily familiar to him. It had never occurred to him before those trials that he had been abused as a child. He had assumed it was normal to lock a child in a cupboard and that most children received whippings that scarred their backs for things like not finishing their chores. He hadn't known that adults shouldn't beat children and that if you were sick or broke a bone, you should see a doctor no matter how it happened. He had thought it was appropriate to have meals withheld for several days because he had snuck an apple from the ice box.

Once he became friends with Ron and witnessed how the Weasley family worked, he made excuses for the Dursleys: they hadn't wanted him, magic scared them and being related to him put them in danger. He thought that they were right to have more serious punishments for him.

After those trials, however, he was forced to re-evaluate his childhood. It had scared him. He hadn't wanted to burden anyone else with this, though Kingsley, Robards and the department Mind Healer were all fully aware and her own father had simply had his suspicions confirmed.

Harry was convinced that he would turn into a monster like his uncle and decided he shouldn't have children or be in a serious relationship. That's when he decided that he couldn't date Ginny. He took a leave of absence from the Aurors with the official reason being migraines (no one who knew him could argue with that) and he started drinking around the clock. Kingsley finally convinced Harry to find a career that wouldn't remind him constantly of the war and a comment from Ron had Harry trying out for Puddlemere. He did, however, continue his weekly sessions with the Mind Healer.

During the next couple of years, he purposely pushed Ginny away and had gotten into some less than honourable situations. Ginny was happy to hear that the rumours of an illicit affair with two Slytherin girls her age had been false, though. They had all been members of the same wedding party and had taken the same portkey to the rehearsal dinner, not to a seedy inn.

A couple of years ago, Andi took Harry aside and told him Kingsley had asked her to talk with him. At first, Harry had been furious, but soon she had told him of her own childhood and that she hadn't turned into her parents. She had also pointed out that Harry was very much a father-figure to Teddy and that if something should happen to her, Harry was the best person to take care of her grandson. That had been when Harry had finally healed.

The other shocking thing had been that a year after joining Puddlemere, Harry had become friends with two of the people whose trials he had witnessed. He and Theo Nott had bonded over their shared experiences: abusive childhoods, an out-of-date Wizarding culture and a lack of funds due to goblin laws.

The goblins left Harry with only ten gallons a week back then; the rest of his considerable Quidditch earnings went to paying off the damage he had done with the dragon. Even then it would take nearly twenty years to pay them off. Nott (or Theo as Harry called him) was forced by the goblins to pay off his father's debts and fines for being a convicted Death Eater. Theo had not taken the mark, but had reluctantly spied at Hogwarts for his father.

Both young men had inheritances that they couldn't access until they had made investments to increase their wealth (standard procedure for old families), but since they were both scraping by, neither could make those investments. Thankfully, since they couldn't access their inheritances, neither could the goblins.

That was when Harry had the brilliant (or dubious) idea to contact Draco Malfoy. Draco (that's what Harry had called him) agreed and Runespore, Inc. was born. Harry was the dreamer and thought up the majority of their most successful ideas (including Mug-Wear, Muggle fashions for witches and wizards and Muggle Made Magic, Muggle technology that had been adapted to magic). He also brought accountability and did any celebrity promotions that were needed.

Theo was the planner. He had the best business mind and did most of the day to day work obtaining businesses or setting up new ones.

Draco was the critic. He found holes in Harry's ideas and Theo's plans and was the one who generally did most of the bargaining when needed. He had also been their sole source of start up money, but had recognized that he had no legal business contacts, while Theo still had a few and that, without Harry, neither of them would have been given a chance.

It was odd for Ginny to realize that Harry was good friends with both of the Slytherins. He had even been the best man for Theo when he had married Mandy Brocklehurst in a small ceremony a few years ago. However, she had been the most shocked when Harry had asked her to be his date to Draco's wedding that was set for the following spring. Harry was to be an usher. She had chocked on her Butterbeer when he had told her _that_.

By late evening, Ginny felt that she was as close to Harry as anyone could be. They had made love again, though it had been less frantic this time, and had agreed to keep their relationship quiet for now. It was unlikely that they could make it until the end of the World Cup, which was nearly year away, but they thought it wise to not tell anyone until after the games began in November. That gave them a little over three months. Once the games started up, they could start showing up to Ministry and World Cup functions together and ease their relationship into being public.

Before she left they set up a date to go to a Muggle amusement park the next day. Ginny was convinced that they should pack as many dates in the next two weeks as they could before their training began for their National team. As she kissed Harry good night, she had murmured, "This is almost too good to be true."

They would wonder, much later, if there was a Taboo on those words.

A/N: Since this ends the "lead-in" chapters and the part that starts the reason for the humor category begins with the next chapter, please don't give up on me yet.


	4. Chapter 4

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilogue's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: Squid reference, Hufflepuff bashing, cliche Ginny-clothing thievery, suspicions of prostitution

Disclaimer: HP is not mine.

A/N: Much thanks to J for being a patient and helpful beta.

Chapter 4 – The Amusement Park and the Pier

Harry was nervous. This was his first, honest-to-Merlin date with Ginny Weasley. He didn't feel those few weeks back in his sixth year counted, since the plans they had made back then usually consisted of either a blanket down by the lake or a broom cupboard. They hadn't even had a chance to go to Hogsmeade. Yesterday, of course, didn't count. You'd have to a real prat to think waking up hung-over next to a girl, having sex and then trying to explain your way out of being hexed counted as a date. Though Seamus or Charlie probably would have counted it, but no one with a knut of common sense listened to their advice on "birds."

He knew it was ridiculous that his hands were shaking and that his stomach was a little queasy. It didn't bode well for taking her to a Muggle amusement park. That thought just made him worse; he wanted today to be perfect. He had wasted so many years avoiding Ginny and now that he had the opportunity, he wanted to impress her so that she would never want to leave him.

Taking a deep breath, Harry finally knocked on the door to her flat. Two heartbeats later, Ginny stood in front of him, looking wonderful in a simple pair of denim shorts and a blue shirt. Harry noticed the small symbol for a new band, Squid Lovers United, on the upper left side.

"Nice shirt," he couldn't help but smirk at her guilty look. "I wondered where that snuck off to. Just be thankful you've never taken this one," he said plucking at the shirt he wore. It was grey and advertised his favourite band in large red letters – Demented Kiss.

Ginny waggled her eyebrows at him. "If I did, would you spank me?"

He just laughed at her, feeling completely relaxed now, and gave her the Apparition coordinates to the amusement park they were heading to outside of London.

_________________________________________________________________________

The crowds had been awful but since both Ginny and Harry were unknown in the Muggle world, the crush was bearable. Harry had only been to an amusement park once, not long after the defeat of Voldemort, and hadn't been prepared for how expensive everything was back then. This time he was prepared, and fully planned, to spend way too much money on over-priced junk foods and cheaply made trinkets. Ginny had never been to an amusement park and quickly fell in love with everything.

Because of his previous trip, Harry knew that he had a slight fear of roller coasters. Despite living in the Muggle world when he was younger and still keeping up with the current Muggle technology, he really didn't trust the rickety contraptions. Ginny couldn't help taking the mickey out of him for it.

"I've seen you fly," she dropped her voice so the Muggles didn't overhear their conversation. "You mean to tell me that you feel safer on an enchanted broomstick that you can fall off of than you do on a piece of Muggle machinery that is tested for safety? Come on Harry, pull the other one!"

He was good natured about it, for the most part. They started out riding some smaller rides, a couple of which Ginny didn't like. They went up and down and around and around and made her feel sick. Harry didn't even crack a smile, though he _badly_ wanted to make a comment about how some of her Chaser manoeuvres were pretty similar.

Soon it got hot, so they joined the masses in line for the water rides. Besides the cool relief of the water, Harry enjoyed how Ginny's thin shirt clung to her curves – especially since she couldn't pull out her wand and cast a drying charm.

The day was great. They ate greasy foods (and chugged down some anti-nausea potions so they wouldn't have to wait for it to settle), played (and lost) a number of games, and had a great time laughing about everything from the Muggle in the ridiculous hat to Ron's obsession with the Cannons.

Toward evening, Harry finally decided he would give in and go on a large roller coaster that was advertised as the fastest in Europe. Ginny had been begging him all day and he had to admit he had felt more comfortable with the rides as the day wore on.

The line hadn't been too awful and once they were settled into the ride Harry had to chuckle at how Ginny was bouncing up and down with excitement. It seemed a little odd to him that she was able to move so much when he felt that the restraints barely gave him room to breathe. He should have known better.

Apparently, Ginny had not understood the whole "fasten yourself in so you don't get hurled from the ride" thing. She hadn't liked how tight the restraints were. She told Harry later that she had loosened them with her wand on each ride after the workers had checked them. He didn't know whether to be exasperated at her or impressed she had done it without his knowledge.

Of course the other rides hadn't gone upside down. The moment they made the first loop, she was hurled from the roller coaster. Harry, always quick with a wand, had easily saved her from a horrific death.

Unfortunately, that meant a _long_ night in the Aurors offices explaining. The only plus had been that Robards had sent an Auror with whom Harry had been in training. Auror Jacobson had taken both Harry and an unconscious Ginny off the scene quickly before the members of the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad could gawk too much.

Once they reached the Ministry, Ginny had been revived, given a Calming Draught and quickly checked over by the department Healer. She had declared Ginny fine with just a couple of bruises on her back and said that they would heal best on their own. The Healer left after giving instructions that Ginny take a minor pain potion twice a day and suggesting that she might need a second dose of Calming Draught once the events caught up to her.

Harry quickly explained what had happened to those present, leaving out that they'd been on a date, of course. Ginny was able to give her statement, though with every passing minute it was clear she was becoming less calm. When Harry finally told Auror Jacobson and the two members of the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee who were present about how she had flown out of her seat and he had drawn his wand to cast a Floating Charm on her, she was hyperventilating and needed to be given more of the draught.

While Harry had fussed over Ginny, the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee had been talking together quietly, but he had still caught a few things they said.

"…yes, but the problem with that is, Potter _floated_ her to the ground." Justin Finch-Fletchley had joined the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes out of Hogwarts and was rumoured to be the best excuse maker in centuries. His skills had made it possible for hundreds of fewer Muggle Obliviations.

"Hey, Potter?" Justin continued once he saw he had Harry's attention. "She floated like a balloon that was a little deflated, right? Slowly, maybe catching on the wind a little." Harry nodded, which caused Justin to smirk and he turned to Auror Jacobson, who would relay the excuse to the Obliviators.

"Perfect. Alright, the explanation for the Muggles is that it wasn't a _person_ who fell off of the ride. An unidentified twenty-something male pulled a prank at the amusement park. We are unsure at this time how he snuck a red-headed female blow-up doll onto the roller coaster, but when the ride was upside down, the doll slid out and floated to the ground." Harry turned a shade of red that rivalled any Weasley and decided Finch-Fletchley was obviously more Slytherin than Hufflepuff.

His former classmate threw an evil grin at Harry as Auror Jacobson left looking confused (apparently the Wizarding world didn't have blow-up dolls).

"Well Potter, at least I said it was a female doll! I could have had it be a male doll or a sheep," Finch-Fletchley sniggered, and then gave Harry a calculating look. "I'll make sure not to mention this to anyone else, like George Weasley, if you can get me four tickets to England versus Wales. Deal?"

Harry couldn't believe his gall, but honestly the four tickets were worth the price of the git's silence. He agreed and shook hands with the smug bastard, sealing their deal. Harry kept his smirk to himself. All it would take was an owl to Theo, and Mug-Wear would be selling shirts with a sheep and a bloke who looked similar to Finch-Fletchley saying, "I've been a baa-aad boy."

An hour later, Harry had Ginny back in her flat. _'I should have known there was no way we could have had a perfect date,'_ Harry thought to himself. _'But I expected spilling lemonade on her or tripping down the stairs or something!'_

Although Ginny was awake and insistent, there was no way Harry was going to have sex tonight. Two Calming Draughts were pretty potent. Besides the fact that having sex with her while she was under the draught's influence felt like taking advantage of her (no matter how many times she wriggled her hands down his pants), she was saying things that reminded Harry of Luna Lovegood. Luna was a great friend, but he didn't want to sleep with her.

Sometime after Ginny compared his eyebrows to a Blibbering Humdinger, he suggested it was time for bed. Thankfully, she fell asleep within minutes of her head hitting the pillow and Harry decided to camp out on her couch. Just to make sure she was alright, of course.

______________________________________________________________________________

Harry finally understood what all his friends talked about; having a girlfriend, one whom you really connected with, was the absolute best thing _EVER_. It was now Saturday. He had been dating Ginny since the previous Sunday and everything had been _great_.

To be honest, their first date on Monday hadn't ended well, but these things happened. Besides, he'd spend a night with a slightly insane Ginny in the Auror office over ten minutes with Maia Cowper anytime. That crazy witch had told him she'd happily bear his children before the soup had arrived on their first, and only, date.

He hadn't really been able to go out with Ginny this week, though one of them usually showed up at the other's flat every night. Quidditch practice might be over for the regular season, but it was only a couple of weeks away before they were to start practicing with their National team. Just because World Cup rules stated that the team couldn't practice yet, didn't mean that each individual couldn't practice alone. If they didn't, they would find their spot given to the next reserve in line.

Harry worked on Seeker manoeuvres every afternoon, but he spent most of his mornings running, swimming and doing light weight work at a nearby Muggle gym. Some days he wished he could bulk up like Ron, but his coaches would kill him if he added more than five pounds to his agile frame.

'_Besides,' _he thought to himself as he prepared to knock on the door to Ginny's flat. _'Ginny seems to prefer lightly muscled over body-builder.'_ Another thought struck him and he snorted without amusement. _'It didn't keep _Witch Weekly_ from suggesting topless pictures of me either.'_

He and Ginny hadn't even been able to have supper together since Sunday. This week had included several team meetings in the evenings that included specialized meals. Harry had had more pasta in the last four days than he could handle and had finally told the team healer that if they didn't start giving him some meat, he'd knock out England's Keeper and steal one of the guy's high protein dishes.

The team meetings also meant that it was late by the time they were done for the night, so spending the night had been the only chance for Harry and Ginny to really be together. They had stayed up late talking and Harry felt like he had never been closer to another person in his life. He told her the things he had learned as an Auror, about bonding with Theo and Draco over Muggle beer, and how he loved being Teddy's godfather. Ginny told him about the "initiation" she had endured when she had joined the Harpies, the nightmares she still had occasionally from Hogwarts, and her mum's failed attempts to teach her knitting charms.

Today they had the day off from meetings and they both had cut their workouts short so they could spend most of the day together at Blackpool Pier.

Ginny had chosen to wear a pair of short shorts and a stomach baring halter to cover up her bathing suit. They hadn't had sex since Sunday and it seemed the sexual tension was getting to her – she was in a _really_ flirty mood.

Harry was paying for everything with a Muggle credit card and she was doing outrageous things to get him to let her see it since she had never seen one before. As they walked by a tall man in dark clothing, she had said, "If you give me your money, I'll give you the best blow job you've ever had!"

It turned out the man was an undercover Muggle police officer and thought Ginny was a prostitute. While he and his partner took Ginny to the local police station, Harry had Apperated back to his flat in London to get some yen from the last time he had been in Japan. It took a lot of smooth talking on his part, but he finally convinced them that Ginny was his girlfriend and wanted to see foreign money. He'd cast a light Memory Charm on them and they were able to sneak away. On the way out, Harry had to restrain Ginny when they overheard the officer talking about the hot red-head at the beach.


	5. Chapter 5

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilogue's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: American driver, excessive use of "bloody," snarky sister-in-law, obsessive fangirls.

Disclaimer: HP is not mine. Neither are _Shrek the Third _or the other thing that is hinted at but I can't say because that would ruin the ending of the chapter.

A/N: Much thanks to J for being a patient and helpful beta.

A/N2: If this chapter is richer due to details of London, its all because of J. She gave me lists of places Harry and Ginny could go and ideas of things that could happen at different places. If this chapter is terrible because of a lack of detail, that is totally me. However, please keep in mind that that part of the chapter is from Harry's perspective and he is taking in the view of Ginny's legs, not the view of London. Or at least, that's my excuse.

Chapter 5 – The Movie and the Mob

Harry was grateful that having "angry sex" didn't necessarily mean Ginny was angry at him. She remained peeved at the Muggle police officers for a few days, meaning that Harry thought it unwise to go out anywhere lest she verbally curse an unsuspecting bystander. Though he had to admit, staying at his flat Saturday night and all day Sunday was _quite_ beneficial to him. When Tuesday morning rolled around, his birthday present was finding out just how flexible a professional Chaser had to be. Best present _EVER._

The trend they had begun the previous week continued. They alternated which flat they spent the night in and worked out together for part of their mornings. The rest of their days were spent mostly apart until the evening team meetings. Since most of the members of the National Team came from different League Teams, these meetings were an effort to have all of the Quidditch players get to know one another and to get comfortable with each other. It wouldn't do for a rivalry to make the team weaker.

It was a good move, since two of the Chasers on the first reserve team were major rivals. At the first meeting about three weeks ago, Ellie and Nathan had been ready to tear each other apart, but now they were dating. Harry wondered how that would work when they went back to the Arrows and the Wasps, but then again it would be nice if the public watched someone else's soap opera life.

By Thursday, Ginny had finally calmed down and was begging Harry to take her somewhere in Muggle London again. The meeting that evening was scheduled to be short, so he did some quick research during his lunch and found a movie theatre playing a comedy he thought Ginny would enjoy.

That evening he almost regretted choosing this movie. He'd known it was animated and a fantasy, but hadn't known how ridiculous it was. Thankfully, Ginny got bored quickly and soon they were snogging in the back of the theatre only breaking apart occasionally to giggle about the awful Scottish brogue (what _would_ McGonagall have to say) and for Ginny to gawk at the Muggle representation of witches. Though she did like that a witch started the bar fight.

They left early, intent on getting back to her flat to take their snogging much further. As they were crossing the street to head towards an alleyway they could Apparate from, a car came out of nowhere and hit Harry dead on.

'_Bloody Americans don't know what bloody side of the bloody road to bloody drive on,' _Harry thought while he gripped his head in pain and listened to the driver, a couple of cops and a paramedic piece together what had happened with Ginny. _'If that bloody bastard says _'Sorry, y'all'_ one more time, I'll have to hex his bloody bollocks off!'_

Ginny finally convinced the paramedic that her sister-in-law was a doctor and that she'd take Harry to see her right away. Harry was ready to fall down and worship the ground his girlfriend walked on; Magical healing may have benefited from Muggle technology, but give him a pain potion over a Muggle pain killer any day.

It didn't take long for Ginny to get them both to Audrey's office at St. Mungo's, though they couldn't Apparate since he had a concussion. In no time, Audrey had healed Harry's broken ribs and started him on a potion for his head injury. She also Flooed the team healer and his coach to let them know Harry couldn't fly or do anything strenuous until Monday. Coach Eckley gave Harry an earful, but overall he wasn't too difficult about three days without any training. Eckley was very adamant that a relaxed Seeker was an effective Seeker, often lecturing Harry and the reserves to do something unrelated to Quidditch a few times a week.

The most disturbing thing occurred as Harry and Ginny were ready to walk out the door. Audrey cleared her throat and they both turned to her expectantly.

"Nothing strenuous includes sex, you two," she smiled and winked at their stunned expressions. "Don't worry. Healer/patient confidentiality and all that, you know." They left in a hurry after that.

______________________________________________________________________________

It was decided that movies were just bad luck and must be avoided at all costs. The amusement park was simply a misunderstanding of Muggle safety procedures and Blackpool Pier had been caused by a decided lack of sex. As a result, Ginny promised to follow all instructions no matter how silly she thought they were and sex had become part of their morning workouts, though both sex and Harry's morning workouts had to be put on hold until Monday. So they had decided they just needed to stay away from movie theatres and everything would be fine.

Unfortunately, since Harry couldn't do anything strenuous over the weekend, there wasn't much they could do on their last two days off before team training began. They hadn't been to the Burrow in awhile, so Hermione drove the four of them to Devon in Harry's car. It shocked no one that it took more than twice as long for Hermione to drive there as it usually took Harry, though Hermione pointed out that at least _she_ hadn't broken over twenty-five Muggle and Magical laws along the way just to break a pointless record.

Thankfully, no one at the Burrow asked why Ginny felt the need to ride in the car instead of Apparating, or why she had been with Harry when he had been hit by a Muggle in London. Most of the Weasleys assumed that as close friends as well as teammates, it was only natural that they take a break from Quidditch together.

Audrey smirked at them several times, however, and Harry swore he caught a calculating look from Hermione. Molly gave him an extra large piece of treacle tart, along with look that was part knowing and part teary, but mercifully, no comments were made. He was grateful that Fleur was busy being miserably pregnant and fussed over. She was due in a month and he knew if she hadn't been so distracted, she would have suspected something as well and wouldn't have thought twice about voicing her opinions.

________________________________________________________________________

On Monday morning, Harry was back to working out again, though Audrey had recommended that he only do about half of his normal routine. During the first team practice, Coach Eckley had him fly easy drills and go over a book of plays, but nothing else. Tuesday was more of the same, but he was promised they would stop taking it easy on him on Thursday.

World Cup rules stated that National Teams could only have team practices four days a week from August through September. England's coaches chose to split the difference, so Wednesdays were the team's day off during the week. Harry planned to make this first Wednesday special for Ginny since it would be the first day since he'd been hit by that stupid driver that he could do anything "strenuous." He'd been trying to come up with an idea that she would love since the weekend and had finally remembered Ginny once saying she had always wanted to visit some of the Muggle tourist sites in London.

'_Thank Merlin that Andi was able to give me some ideas of where to go.'_ Harry never would have guessed that Ted Tonks would have taken so much pleasure in showing Andromeda Black around Muggle London when he was "courting her" as Andi liked to say with a misty look in her eyes. _'Well, if that's how one pure-blood witch decided she wanted to spend the rest of her life with a Muggle-born wizard, maybe it'll happen again with me and Ginny.'_

Harry planned out their Wednesday with tours of the Tower Bridge and the National Gallery. To wrap up the day, he'd arranged for one of the elves that did enchanting work for Muggle Made Magic to prepare a picnic supper and meet them in Regent's Park. All in all, he felt a little smug that he had come up with such a perfect idea for a date with Ginny.

For once, they hadn't spent the night together, so Harry was a little lonely during his morning workout. Instead of going to the National pitch to fly, he gave a thrill to a small group of young Hogwarts students and their parents when he showed up at one of the three public pitches in London. This one, his favourite, was underground and used to be a part of the Muggle tube system. Now it was popular with families who didn't have a place for their children to fly their brooms. Harry enjoyed the freedom he felt on the small pitch and didn't mind being asked for autographs or for flying tips from the kids he shared the space with. He still didn't like his fame, but he'd rather be asked what his favourite Seeker manoeuvre was over how it felt to receive an Order of Merlin any day.

The morning flew by, literally, and soon Harry had grabbed a quick lunch and was standing outside of Ginny's flat once again – hair still wet from his shower in his excitement for their date.

The Tower Bridge was breathtaking to say the least. Ginny seemed interested in the items at its museum, but Harry was only interested in the way the floaty yellow material of her dress's skirt twirled around her gorgeous legs. He did look up long enough to appreciate the awesome sight from the walkway. They must have spent three hours there lingering, and while he couldn't remember anything he was supposed to be paying attention to, the breathy way Ginny thanked him for taking her to a place she'd always wanted to visit was etched into his memory.

The National Gallery, on the other hand, was a flop. Harry filed away the information that his girlfriend liked Muggle architecture, but pretty much detested their art. She drew a few odd looks from the other visitors with her "hmphs" and "ughs" and "But it doesn't even _move_." They were out of there within fifteen minutes.

Regent's Park more than made up for the disaster that had been the art museum and finished off a near perfect date. They meandered through the zoo, making up names for founders for more magical schools based on the animals they saw.

"Oh! Oh! I know…Pacomio Pachydermatous! In Pachydermatous, you will find those with a long memory," Ginny bent over giggling. "As well as big noses and thick skins!"

Harry looked at his girlfriend in disbelief, "How in Merlin's name did you come up with that? Hermione?"

"Oh no, Luna was the one to actually come up with that name. She wanted to start her own house at Hogwarts and liked the idea of using an elephant as the mascot."

They left the zoo and strolled hand in hand through the park. They were careful to stay far away from the western end of the park where Circe's Haunt was located.

It had been called that for so long no one knew what the outdoor marketplace was originally named. Charms kept the area invisible to Muggles and unaffected by most weather, so it was a busy place every day. Harry had wondered during his trips down Diagon Alley when he was in Hogwarts where witches and wizards did their grocery shopping. Circe's Haunt had many shops that offered produce and day to day items like ready-made potions that were patented (which meant they couldn't be sold in apothecaries).

The name came about because the market was popular among witches and avoided like dragon pox by most wizards. Harry had never been there (he went to a Muggle market for his groceries) and had little desire to. He knew Ginny had bought the little blue lace _thing_ he liked so much from one of the shops, but he also knew if he stepped one foot inside of the gate he would be besieged by witches. _'No thanks.'_

As the evening approached, Harry made sure to steer Ginny to the slightly secluded area that he had arranged for Bizzi to meet them with the picnic basket. The small elf was one of Harry's favourites; partly because her eccentricities reminded him of Dobby and partly because of her efficiency. True to form, she was waiting for them behind a bush with a basket and a blanket. With a huge smile and a small curtsey, she left leaving Harry to shake his head and wonder if he would ever understand elves.

The food consisted of their favourite sandwiches as well as some fresh fruit and vegetables. Conversation moved to the upcoming Quidditch matches and they both speculated on what the scouts would say about each country's team. Ireland was one of the consistently strong teams in the world, though they (modestly) liked their chances against a team with whose players they were familiar.

It was the South and North American teams that they were most concerned about. Those countries had been getting progressively stronger in Quidditch in the past few decades and it had been a narrow defeat of Peru that had earned England third place in the last World Cup. First place had been Ireland for the third consecutive tournament and second place had been Japan. Japan was another country to watch out for; they guarded their manoeuvres closely and it was difficult to plan plays to counteract their flying style.

By the time they noticed how late it was, the sun had nearly set. They rose, choosing to walk back to Ginny's flat near Paddington instead of Apparating.

The park was still fairly crowded, but they took little notice until a woman screamed shrilly as they passed.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S HIM! IT'S DA…"

Whatever else the woman yelled was lost as Harry was mobbed by a group of women. In the rush, Ginny was pushed away from him and shoved to the ground, but Harry could only get a small glimpse of her through the crowd.

He'd never seen so many of such different ages all banded together like that. It was worse than trying to escape from Death Eaters.

One barely legal looking teen ripped several strands of hair from his head, making him jump backwards into the arms of a forty-something blond who gave him a hug to rival Hagrid and effectively held him in place to be molested. His glasses were knocked off his face making it even more difficult to see which woman was doing what to him and in his panic he couldn't focus on their voices either. The camera flashes didn't help the situation.

He did notice when the sleeve of his shirt was torn off. Luckily for them it was just a plain t-shirt. If it had been his Demented Kiss shirt, hexes would have flown. He felt hands un-tuck his shirt from his jeans and heard several different voices comment on his chest. Lips brushed up against him all over: his face, his chest, his back, and his arms. Harry wasn't ashamed to admit that the shriek that came out of his mouth when he felt a hand slip down the front of his trousers was decidedly girlish.

"Alright, you bloody bitches! Get your hands off my boyfriend before I have to take drastic measures. His name's Harry. Not Darren or David or whatever the bloody hell you are harping about." Harry sighed in relief and nearly sunk to the ground when the crowd quickly dispersed. Apparently Ginevra Weasley was a woman everyone, magical or Muggle, knew not to cross. He felt Ginny grab his upper arm and lead him away from the lit path. A moment later, they were walking into her flat.

Ginny handed him his glasses, which he quickly repaired, before she started her rant. She accused him of moonlighting as a Muggle actor and performing naked in a play. Harry caught very little of what she was talking about (something about a horse), but the next day as soon as practice let out, he went to the Ministry and coerced Hermione's assistant into letting him into his friend's office.

Once he was in her office, it took begging, pleading and admitting he and Ginny were dating before Hermione would explain exactly what Ginny had meant. It seemed that Ginny could deal with witches lusting after her boyfriend, but it was a little too much to think that Muggle women might want him too, even if it had only been a case of mistaken identity. Hermione, bless her, knew the name of the play and the actor that he had been mistaken for and mentioned that perhaps Ginny just needed a girls' night out. Sixteen years of friendship meant he understood what she was hinting at.

"How many tickets?" he sighed, not really liking the idea of his girlfriend going to a play where she'd see another man naked. But if it convinced her that Harry wasn't standing around in his altogether in front of hundreds of people every week, then so be it.

Hermione got that calculating look that Harry had come to hate. "Well, one for Ginny and one for me, of course, and it would seem that Molly and Audrey know as well. Though I can't imagine Molly would enjoy something that risqué, so one for Audrey. Fleur needs something to take her mind off of her pregnancy, so we're up to four now. Hmmm, Angelina would be disappointed if all the sisters-in-law went without her, so that makes five. Luna would definitely appreciate the art and Neville made me promise to take Hannah out soon. Oh, and Andromeda loves Muggle theatre. I think eight tickets would be enough."

Harry just shook his head and told her to let him know how much it would cost. It almost felt like the women he thought of as his sisters and aunt would be seeing _him_ naked, not this blasted Harry Potter look-a-like. He decided not to think about it and make plans to go out for drinks with Ron or Theo that night.


	6. Chapter 6

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilogue's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: Whipped cream, Herbology, a quote from _My Fellow Americans, _mentions of _Dan, _and a Harry who imitates Westley from _The Princess Bride_ after being subjected to The Machine for the first time - minus the whole pain and life-draining thing.

Disclaimer: HP is not mine. Neither are _Equus, __The Princess Bride, _or _My Fellow Americans._

A/N: Much thanks to J for being a patient and helpful beta.

A/N2: J really liked the last part of this chapter. My husband just said I was an incredibly cruel and evil woman, but he's known that for years.

Chapter 6 - The Bouquet and the Sundae

As luck would have it, going to that damn play did the trick. Ginny was convinced that Harry was _not_ leading a secret life as a Muggle actor and her brothers assumed the tickets had been her birthday present as no one had mentioned the fact that Ginny now had the latest enchanted entertainment system from Muggle Made Magic.

Unfortunately, going to the play had led to a bit of a crush on the actual actor. Ginny had reassured Harry, several times, that he was much sexier than _Dan_. This did nothing to appease his jealousy since _Dan_ was generally said with a breathy sigh…by every single one of the women who'd gone to the damn play.

The only thing Harry saw as a positive was that none of their husbands knew that _Dan_ resembled Harry. He was surprised that there was no grumbling about how often _Dan_ got brought up over the course of the next week until George let him in on a little secret.

"None of the girls are ever going to do anything with this _Dan,_" George told Harry doing an admirable impression of the sigh and the eyelash fluttering that usually accompanied it. "Who do you think reaps the benefits of all those boy-lusting hormones? All I have to do is ask Angie about the play and she's pulling me into the bedroom! If I ever meet this kid, I'm giving him a big sloppy kiss. Tongue, no tongue – his choice."

This, of course, gave Harry a mental image that he'd rather not have had and he'd left to search for Ginny immediately after that.

He did feel bad about the whole "fan girls" incident, though. It wasn't the first time he had been attacked by a bunch of women with Ginny nearby, but it was the first time since they had started dating. Although, Harry had to admit that witches were slightly calmer than the Muggle women had been. So as a way to prove he was romantic and say he was sorry, he sent flowers to her flat every day starting the day after "The Incident." He didn't want to overwhelm her, so he had a Muggle florist send small bouquets of whatever the nice girl at the counter suggested.

Over the course of the week, however, Harry was getting worried. Outside of a quick peck on the cheek, he wasn't even sure if she got any flowers. The week after "The Incident" was not great. Ginny came over to his flat only twice, but asked him not to come to her flat. There was no practice on Wednesday again, but Fleur went into labour early that morning and all the Weasley's spent the day in St. Mungo's waiting for news. Around six that night, Bill came out beaming and holding a tiny bundle in a blue blanket.

Ginny went back to her place for an early night after congratulating her brother and sister-in-law and Harry decided he needed help.

"Hey, Ron," his best mate turned to look at Harry as they walked out of the hospital with Hermione, George and Angelina. "Do you mind if I borrow your wife for a couple of hours? I need her help with something." Harry was a little taken aback by the gleeful smile on his friend's face.

"Sure, no problem! The two of you don't get together enough," Ron glanced over his shoulder to make sure that Hermione was still talking to Angelina about _Dan _and not paying attention to him. He lowered his voice after turning back to his best friend again. "Thanks, mate. I've been trying to find a chance to get into Muggle London to go to this specialty bookstore for her birthday present, but she's got a nose like a bloodhound, that one. Do you think you could keep her away from our house until nine or so?" Harry nodded, completely shocked by the fact that not only had his friend put _thought_ into a birthday gift for his wife, he was doing so more than a month early.

That was how Harry found himself an hour later shopping in Diagon Alley, trying to work up the courage to ask Hermione for help and feigning interest in the clothes she showed him.

"What do you think of the blue, Harry? Harry? Oh honestly," Hermione heaved a long suffering sigh. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Hmm? Oh the blue is, er, lovely," he said, while trying to figure out how best to ask his questions without sounding like a prat.

"Lovely is not the word I'd use to describe anything for Ron," Hermione sighed again and put the article of clothing back on a pile. Harry never was quite sure what exactly she had tried to show him. "Did you have a reason for asking if you could come along with me? Because I'm not getting the impression it was to be helpful or to actually spend time with me."

Harry gave her a guilty smile and ruffled his hair. "You caught me. I, er, need some advice." In no time, he was telling her about how jealous he was of _Dan_ and that Ginny hadn't wanted him to come over to her flat or spend much time with him that week and that she hadn't said much about the flowers.

"…and really, I don't care about the flowers. It's just that with everything else, I'm not sure what to think." Harry finally stopped talking, realizing that for all his preparation he had still sounded like a prat.

"You are a prat, you know that?" Hermione shook her head and smiled up at him fondly. "First of all, you have nothing to be jealous over. Daniel Radcliffe is ten years younger than you. He's a boy; you're a man. Ginny wants a man, end of story. Besides, who was it that lusted over Keira Knightley for a month after we saw that movie?"

Harry had the good grace to blush. He _had_ been pretty childish about that little crush a couple of years back.

"The reason Ginny hasn't wanted to do much or have you over to her flat is because she's not feeling great this week," Harry tried to figure out why Hermione was making her 'I'm giving you a big hint, but I'm not going to tell you the answer' look.

'_Ginny's been playing fine at practice, though. She hasn't acted like she was sick or anything. She did take that potion for muscle cramps…oh.'_

"OH!" Harry rolled his eyes when Hermione actually clapped. "Give me break! I've never dated a girl for more than a week before. This isn't something I've ever really had to deal with."

Hermione just smirked and patted him on the arm. "Now, about the flowers. Ginny likes flowers, but it's obvious that you just told the florist to pick whatever they had available. It's sweet, but doesn't take much effort. I realize that is being really picky, but you want to show her how much you care, right? You have to put a little more thought and effort into it. Her favourite flowers are daffodils, but she also likes just about any kind of lily as well."

Hermione continued talking, but by then Harry was working out at plan to find a bouquet of daffodils for Ginny. He was so involved in his thoughts that he nearly let Hermione Apparate home around eight, but caught her just in time and quickly talked his friend into stopping at the Leaky Cauldron for a light supper. He sent her on her way a little after nine and headed to his own flat, intent on calling the florist in the morning.

___________________________________________________________________________

His girlfriend's favourite flower was only available during the spring and it was currently the end of summer. Why couldn't she have loved roses like the rest of the female population?

'_I _could_ get her lilies, but since I've tried just about every Muggle florist in England, I might as well see if Diagon Alley has anything.' _Taking a fortifying breath, Harry Potter tapped his wand on the brick wall separating him from Wizarding central.

It was now Saturday afternoon. Ginny had Flooed him right after he'd finished his morning workout and invited him to her flat for supper that night. He'd looked for daffodils for two whole days now and he needed them in the next hour or he'd have to just settle for lilies.

It was with a silly grin on his face that he showed up at Ginny's flat carrying a large bouquet of big beautiful yellow daffodils. A small shop in Diagon Alley had had the elusive flowers and had sold him two dozen for only sixteen sickles. Harry had been so relieved that he'd given the clerk ten galleons and hurried out of the shop.

Ginny had loved the flowers. She gushed over them and told him eight different times that daffodils were her favourite. After her hot, wet "thank you" which started with his pants falling to his ankles and ended with both of them panting, Harry decided he had to find a way to get her daffodils at least once a month – or every bloody day if he could manage it.

Hermione was a genius and he vowed to find out what her favourite flower was and send her a giant bouquet.

After they finished eating the meal Ginny had prepared, she suggested a walk to a nearby ice cream parlour. The ice cream was wonderful and Harry made a couple of teenage girls sigh when he had leaned in to lick a drop of chocolate off of Ginny's cheek before giving her a searing kiss.

It had been an absolute perfect date.

At least, until they rounded the corner to Ginny's building and saw a police car out front. A dull alarm sound was heard coming from the building and they both rushed forward to ask what the problem was.

"We think a smoke alarm's going off in Flat 4A, but no one is answering the door." Ginny's eyes got wide and Harry rushed up the stairs while she tried to think up a story of why there would be an alarm coming from her flat.

He should have known those damn flowers were too cheap. They were Honking Daffodils – incredibly loud Honking Daffodils. A couple of spells later, Harry had silenced the bloody things, shrunk them down and put them into Ginny's bin.

By the time he got back outside, the neighbour who liked to play the Rolling Stones at two in the morning had a bloody nose and one of the officers was doing his best to hold onto Ginny without getting hit by her flailing arms and legs, while manoeuvring her into the police car.

"Just you wait 'til I get my…" Harry breathed a sigh of relief that the car door muffled out the word "wand." While her Muggle neighbours were distracted by the sight of Ginny being driven away in a police car, Harry had quickly Apparated to the Ministry. Robards got a good laugh out of Harry's story, but went down and spoke with the officers. With his help, Ginny was released with only a warning in no time.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Later, much, MUCH later, Ginny would laugh about this date. Although, it probably wouldn't be until she was eighty-three, or maybe eighty-four.

On Friday, she had pointed out that they had absolutely no luck with dating outside of their flats. Harry had offered to make dinner at his place on the Saturday after the "Daffodils from hell," and Ginny had told him she'd bring the dessert.

It had been a week – a WEEK – since they had had sex. On Sunday, she had been too upset about the whole "getting arrested by Muggle police" for the _second time in three weeks!_ Then their practices had been kicked up several notches for everyone, especially those on the starting and the first reserve teams. The most intimate thing the two of them could manage every night was helping each other rub down sore muscles with a cooling cream mixed with a pain tonic. They were no longer working out on their own in the mornings four days out of the week, so sex was out then as well.

To top it off, on Wednesday they had had to spend most of the day in photo shoots with various newspapers and magazines. Poor Harry was the worst off. The annual "_Witch Weekly's_ Most Eligible Bachelor Contest" had chosen him (again) and this time magazines worldwide had finally agreed to the terms Harry had stated three years previously as the only way they'd get him to pose topless.

His terms were noble, of course. Each publication that ran pictures of him without his shirt had to donate fifty thousand galleons to an accredited charity in their country that benefited children, war victims or hospitals. If they wanted more than a page length interview from him as well, the price was upped to a full one hundred thousand galleons.

Therefore, after the team photos and interviews, Harry was off for a long afternoon with a photographer for a special edition that would include several past interviews as well as a lengthy one he had to give during the shoot.

Needless to say, when Harry showed up at Ginny's flat later that night, he was completely exhausted, though she got a good laugh over the descriptions he gave of what they made him wear. She made a mental note to buy a couple copies for herself of the pictures of him sitting on Sirius' old motorbike, wearing nothing but a pair of leather trousers.

Finally, Saturday evening had rolled around. Ginny walked into Harry's apartment, wondering how long she would last before she just jumped her poor boyfriend.

Harry had gone all out on the dinner: candles, flowers (normal lilies), wine, a table cloth and cloth napkins, matching plates and most of his flatware. The food looked divine.

'_That is one thing. The man can definitely cook.' _Laid out on the table were salad, soup and homemade bread. She could smell the roast and guessed he had made some sort of potatoes and vegetable as well.

What amazed her was that he could do all of this without his wand. In fact, using his wand would just have ruined the food. He didn't need to call her mother for recipes or to ask how long to thaw out the roast. Her feelings were mixed; he could cook this well because he would have been badly punished when he was a child if he didn't do it perfectly. On the other hand, he enjoyed cooking occasionally for his friends – as long as he didn't have to clean up by himself.

Between the fact that he had gone all out for _her_, and the fact that he stood there, smiling that sexy, crooked smile with his hair spiked up and messy and wearing his "manly" apron – she wasn't sure she could wait until after supper.

"What did you bring for dessert?" Either he was thinking along the same lines or he was completely oblivious. When he peeked into the bag and said something about making sundaes afterwards, she decided he was oblivious.

Dinner was wonderful, but not fast enough in Ginny's opinion. If she hadn't been so focused on dessert, she probably would have noticed the turn their conversation had taken about the time Harry served the roast, potatoes and asparagus. She almost ruined a perfectly lovely moment because she was so turned on by her boyfriend that she couldn't sit still and focus on what he was saying.

"…thinking a lot. I don't want to rush into anything, but I wanted you to know that, well, you're it for me. I'm not, er, proposing or anything, yet, but I love you. I love you so much, Ginny, and I can't imagine…" Right about then was when her brain kicked into gear.

"What? You, you _love_ me?" Apparently this had not been the right thing to say as Harry's face tinged pink and his face fell. _'I have to salvage this, fast.'_

"Harry, I'm so sorry. I was thinking about something, well, about you, and I wasn't listening as closely as I should have been." Harry looked away, hurt evident in his eyes. "Harry. _Harry_, please look at me." He finally did and it was hard for her not to cry at the pained look on his face.

"I love you, too. I have for years. I've known for a long time that was why I couldn't keep a boyfriend to save my life. None of them could possibly compare to you." She barely got out the last word before she was crushed to his chest, his mouth hot and hard on hers.

Their dinner lay forgotten as they moved towards the couch. Just before Harry pushed her onto it, she sprang away from him and ran into the kitchen to grab the bag she had brought for dessert.

Harry laughed and leaned back on his couch. "Trust a Weasley to choose dessert over sex."

Ginny just grinned back at him as she kneeled on the floor by his legs, reaching up to undo the buttons on his pants. "No, trust a Weasley to choose dessert _and_ sex." Harry's eyes got wide as he watched her turn his penis into a whipped cream sundae complete with a drizzle of chocolate.

Harry was shaking in anticipation as Ginny lowered her head, tongue extended, to clean him off.

"Harry dear, I've brought you some of that chicken you asked about last weekend as well as a treacle tart." Neither Harry nor Ginny were able to come out of their shock fast enough to cover up the whipped cream and penis sundae, before Molly Weasley rounded the corner from Harry's kitchen into his living room.

No sound was made as Molly stood there and stared at her only daughter kneeling beside a half-naked man whom Molly considered to be her seventh son. It took a terribly pitiful whimper from a rapidly paling Harry for the two Weasley women to spring into action. A beet red Molly whipped around and stared at the wall behind her, as Ginny leapt up and grabbed a throw blanket from a nearby chair to cover him up.

Harry could only sit and whimper.

"It's okay now, Mum. He's covered up," Ginny whispered, her red face deepening until she could feel the heat of her blush. She couldn't do more than that as she was completely mortified and wanted to drop through the floor. She supposed it could have been worse. If her mother had come just a few minutes earlier, Harry's penis would have been displayed in all its erect glory.

'_Or not,'_ Ginny considered to herself. _'It was a tough call. Mum finding out how depraved I am being with her surrogate son is probably not the lesser of the two evils.'_

When Molly Weasley yelled, you knew you were in trouble, but also that you would be able to get away unscathed after being lectured and given a short punishment. It was when she whispered that her children were truly frightened of the consequences.

After a half-hour, whispered diatribe on the dangers of premarital sex (the worst of which, apparently, was disappointing Ginny's mother), they were told what Molly would do to them if they had a child out of wedlock. Harry had paled at the mention of a Castrating Charm and Ginny didn't doubt that her mother would snap her wand and send Ginny to live with her cousin Mafalda, who was a nun. Then, as was her mother's way, they were both given bone crushing hugs and told how happy she was that they had finally figured out what she had known for years.

After an awkward kiss on the top of Harry's messy head, Molly moved quickly to the Floo and they heard her shout "The Burrow" before they both breathed a sigh of relief.

Needless to say, there was no sex that night, just cleaning up from dinner and quietly settling down to watch a movie before cuddling up together in Harry's bed.

They had both recovered sufficiently by the next morning, however. Ginny was happy to find out that whipped cream and penis sundaes were in fact, _fantastic_.


	7. Chapter 7

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilogue's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: Helpful Slytherins, punks on skateboards, paparazzi, bad attempts at French.

Disclaimer: HP is not mine. Neither is _Les Misérables_

A/N: Much thanks to J for being a patient and helpful beta. So much so, that when I needed a couple for Harry to converse with for a short time, I had to give her a cameo roll (along with her husband).

A/N2: OC Bridget Sullivan is based off of a friend of my teenage sister. The situation she is mentioned in is nearly word for word to something my sister told me about. It made me laugh.

A/N3: I know little to no French, so I used Google to translate. Translations are at the bottom. I apologize if I completely messed it up. I used WebMD for Harry's symptoms.

Chapter 7 - The Theatre and the Shellfish Incident

Ginevra Molly Weasley prided herself on several things. Her intelligence, agility on a broom, and loyalty were some of her best qualities, she felt. However, there were other lesser things she felt were very important as well.

For instance, she had spent years with both Luna Lovegood, who believed in the most unusual things, and Bridget Sullivan, who once thought she would start dating Jupiter Ashton when they turned sixteen because both of their Transfiguration books were labelled as sixteenth additions. (Everyone else had fifteenth or seventeenth additions). Even with their dubious influences, Ginny had never believed in the fantastical or became superstitious. She didn't create coincidences out of nothing (though it had been really hard not to get hopeful when she saw Harry wearing _her_ lucky number on his jersey when she was twelve). All in all Ginny prided herself on being down-to-earth, generally level-headed, and, though she may have a quick temper, relatively unlikely to be an alarmist.

A trip to the theatre to see _Les Misérables_ the following Wednesday, however, resulted in Ginny wondering for a short time if the Fates were trying to send a message that she and Harry shouldn't be dating.

She had been keyed up immediately following the play; it was her second one in a month and she had looked forward to going to several more that Andi had recommended. Regrettably, Harry had fallen asleep during the play, though Ginny could hardly blame him. He had received an _urgent _owl from that photographer for _Witch Weekly_ the night before requesting he meet the woman somewhere in Kent at four in the morning to get "a few quick pictures using the sunrise as a backdrop." He had ended up being coerced into taking several more pictures, just in case, and he hadn't arrived back at his flat until six in the evening. Hence, Ginny hadn't been upset about explaining the play to Harry as they walked to a safe place to Apparate from. Just as they had reached the top of a set of concrete stairs, two teenage boys on skateboards ran into them, knocking them down to the bottom.

Ginny woke up the next morning to find that she was in a Muggle hospital. Neither she nor Harry carried Muggle identification (very few witches and wizards did), so they had been listed as "white female" and "white male." The noble git was still unconscious because he had tried to break her fall, which caused him to end up with more severe injuries.

The Muggles may not have known what their wands were, but they had placed both of them on Ginny's beside table. After a little bit of detective work, Ginny was able to send out a Patronus with their location when no one was looking. About the time an official looking woman was grilling her on her information, her brother and sister-in-law showed up. Hermione wove her own magic and soon the hospital staff was hustling to get them both transferred to St. Mungo's. Ginny was treated and released soon after arriving at the Wizarding hospital. Under Audrey's care, Harry was awake by the Friday morning and released with a clean bill of health the same afternoon.

As luck would have it, _The Daily Prophet_ discovered that Harry and Ginny had missed practice for England's National team on Thursday. Friday morning, an article appeared asking the question, "Just Friends or Much More?" It included a brief (and surprisingly accurate) history of their friendship as well as a picture of them dancing closely together at a Ministry ball two years prior. Soon, every publication from _Challenges in Charming _to _Which Broomstick_ had an article speculating on a possible relationship between the two of them. Noticeably absent was _The Quibbler, _though whether Xenophilius Lovegood did this out of respect for his daughter's friends or because he didn't have room for something so mundane when he could print a larger article on how the culprits behind the Rotfang Conspiracy had finally been captured was unknown.

The feedback from the _Daily Prophet_ article was huge – apparently many witches thought it would be just _so_ romantic for Harry to fall in love with his best friend's little sister. There had been several disturbing Letters to the Editor, however. In a rather alarming letter, they were made aware that several popular romance novels had been written, allegedly, using Harry and Ginny as the inspiration for the main pairings. Another letter had suggested Harry had an Oedipus complex and that dating Ginny was obviously a way for him to replace his mother. Harry had looked vaguely ill after reading that, vehemently denying this to Ginny.

The fall-out from so much interest in the subject of the article was that several reporters from various news agencies were assigned to tail them both. As soon as Harry and Ginny had realized they had shadows, Flooing became the only way they travelled between their flats. It was also decided going out for dates was detrimental to their health and sanity. They chose to stay in from now on.

___________________________________________________________________________

After a month with the only sightings of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley together being at Quidditch practice or with other Weasleys, they lost most of their shadows. Even _The Daily Prophet _had lost interest, setting a solitary, fresh out of Beauxbatons intern to following them. Better yet, there had been no trips to a hospital, Muggle police station or the Aurors office for an entire month!

By then, they had been dating for two months and, more or less, living together for most of that time. Sometime during their self-enforced imprisonment, Harry had realized that he had wasted too much of his life avoiding Ginny. He found himself wishing they didn't have to sneak around and wanting their relationship to have a sense of permanence.

'_To hell with making our lives more complicated,'_ he realized one day in mid-September. _'Trying to keep our relationship quiet has made things more stressful. It's time to stop acting like a prat and ask her to marry me.'_

Harry suspected that Ginny knew he was up to something. It became evident what her feelings were when he made a nice romantic dinner on their two month anniversary. He saw the disappointed look on her face when he gave her a pair of diamond earrings. It took every single thing he had learned from Theo and Draco not to reveal the plans he had made for the next weekend.

The end of September marked what all of their National coaches liked to refer to as "the beginning of the serious training." It wasn't as though they weren't practicing with the team four days a week from seven in the morning until six in the evening already. Even their days off of team practice revolved around the World Cup – they had to follow the trainers' diet schedules (mostly) and double their individual training and workouts.

The first week of October was when World Cup rules allowed countries to hold full team practices five days a week and position only practices on the weekends. It also meant that starting in October, scouts from around the world would be visiting at scheduled times. The scouts would then report back to their teams' managers so plays could be worked out for each opponent.

October was the last month of training before the games began. Once November hit, training would be focused more on what plays they would utilize against their next opponent, rather than team and individual training. It felt like a turning point to Harry. He felt that proposing the weekend before this change in training would give them a month to enjoy their engagement in private, assuming she said yes, before being in the world's spotlight once the tournament began.

It took him just over a week to plan out how he was going to do it. Originally, his plan had been to have the two of them take Muggle transportation to Paris and he would propose at the Eiffel Tower. He almost counted himself lucky that Theo had figured out what he was doing and decided to intervene. After that, between the two of them and Draco, Harry felt this proposal would be perfect.

Draco had arranged for a secure International Portkey. He had "helped" his soon to be brother-in-law rise up the ranks from a clerk in the Portkey Office to Head of the Department of Magical Transportation in just three short years. While Harry doubted that Smethwyk's abilities as a lower level employee had much to do with his promotion, the fact was the man did an excellent job as head of his department. Nonetheless, Smethwyk knew that he was in the debt of Draco and easily provided the Portkey without giving any names to the registrar. He also arranged that Dennis Creevey would be the official on duty when they had to leave. Somehow, Draco was able to keep the whole thing legal.

Harry had planned the weekend to the second, with Theo's help. He and Ginny would Portkey from London on Friday after practice and arrive in Paris. They would spend the night in a very posh hotel, where dinner awaited them and champagne and strawberries sat chilling. On Saturday, they would go see the Arc de Triomphé and Notre Dame Cathedral, both of which she had expressed an interest in seeing.

After their tours, he planned to take her shopping since she wasn't aware that he had reservations in _the_ best restaurant in Magical Paris. Victoire de la Lumière had been the brainchild of Gabrielle Delacour, and had become popular not only for the wonderful cuisine, but also for the fact that Gabrielle was very strict about guaranteeing well known witches and wizards a safe haven. He had gone to Gabrielle's restaurant several times over the years, usually bringing his closest friends.

The plan was to propose to Ginny after leaving the restaurant. Originally, he had thought about proposing while they were waiting for dessert, but his friends had made him aware of a flaw in that plan.

"That would just be cruel, mate," Theo smirked as he pulled a fresh sheet of parchment towards himself quickly writing something down.

"What do you mean? Ginny likes French food. Fleur has even taught her a couple of recipes…" he trailed off when Draco let out an inelegant snort of laughter before quickly composing himself.

Theo just grinned and shook his head. "It's a good thing the hat didn't put you in Slytherin. You're a lion with snake tendencies, but we'd have eaten you alive down in the Snake Pit. How you have made it through life this oblivious and innocent is beyond me." Harry rolled his eyes. They'd had this conversation several times before. "It would be cruel to Gabrielle, you twat. She's been fascinated with you since you pulled her out of the Black Lake." Harry couldn't help but look horror-struck by this development, which made his friends start laughing again.

"Don't worry about it, Potter," Draco had recovered first. "Miss Delacour just has a little crush on you. She's been convinced you and Weaslette would end up together for years. It would just be bad form to propose in her restaurant, but I'm sure she'd more upset if you went to À l'instar de Magique instead of Victoire de la Lumière."

After that Theo, who was a closet romantic, and Draco, who could never pass up planning something devious, threw themselves into helping Harry plan a romantic weekend in Paris that would culminate in Harry proposing to Ginny. Theo had even written a short speech for him, though Harry doubted he'd use much of it. Telling a pure-blood girl who had grown up in the old ways that "even hippogriffs would bow to their love" was one thing. Telling that to Ginny would either result in her laughing so hard she wouldn't hear the proposal, or she'd hex him, thinking that the only way he'd say that was if he was someone else using Polyjuice.

They had been very helpful otherwise, though. Draco set Harry up in a hotel that he recommended, on top of taking care of the Portkey. Theo had given Harry information on places Ginny might like to go and told him about several shops that his wife frequented.

All in all, when Harry informed Ginny on Thursday night that he'd arranged a weekend trip to Paris for them, he felt confident they were leaving their bad dating luck, and the journalists, behind.

____________________________________________________________________________

Ginny Weasley was ecstatic. She had been to Paris a handful of times, but had never been for herself. The first time had been to help Fleur shop for baby things not long before Victoire was born. It had been enjoyable, but not really what she'd wanted to do in Paris. The next few times had all been Quidditch related. When she had played with the Harpies, they had gone there a couple of times for an exhibition game with an all-female French team whose name she couldn't pronounce. Both games had lasted several hours and they had Portkey back to Wales after the games had ended. Four years ago, she had been there for two weeks when she had been on England's National Team as a reserve. All of their time had been spent on the pitch.

This time, however, she was going for an entire weekend with Harry. He refused to tell her where they were going, but Ginny was confident it would be wonderful.

Practice let out early, with the coaches all reminding everyone that they should relax this weekend because the _real_ training began on Monday. Harry had gone straight to his flat to get his things and Ginny had gone to her own flat in order to get changed. They planned to meet at the Portkey point at ten till eight.

Everything went off without a hitch, and soon they were lying naked on a very comfortable bed, their hunger and lust both sated.

Ginny woke up early on Saturday morning, feeling the now familiar presence of a naked Harry pressed up against her. Smiling wickedly, she decided he needed to wake up. She licked and caressed him until he sat up gasping.

It was amazing how well Harry had planned for this trip – he had given their breakfast order to room service when they had checked in and not even a lengthy morning interlude disrupted his plans. Ginny suspected either Hermione or Theo had helped him. By the time they had visited the sites he had planned, she completely adored the city and was astounded at how much effort her boyfriend had put into planning something she would love. When he told her he was taking her shopping to find something suitable to wear, she nearly hexed him, though.

"What do you mean 'something suitable to wear,' Potter?" She demanded, barely refraining from pulling her wand. Just because she wore mostly shorts and t-shirts didn't mean she didn't have a couple of nice dresses.

The prat had the cheek to laugh at her! "I just meant I didn't tell you to bring clothing appropriate for dinner at Victoire de la Lumière." Ginny nearly knocked him over with her enthusiastic hug. Her excitement was contagious and soon Harry had pulled her into a nearby alley for a heated snog.

_________________________________________________________________________

Harry left Ginny at the shop and waited outside a nearby café, as she had wanted her dress to be a surprise. An American couple sat near him. After enquiring if he was there alone, the three had started speaking about various topics, including several sites in Paris and England the couple had visited over the years, how they had gotten engaged in Paris and what they did for a living. Harry had little problem telling them he was on a football team, though they both knew more about European football than he had expected. It seemed that the woman had lived in London for a short time to attend university and the man was part French.

They had been friendly and were excited to learn that Harry was planning to propose to his girlfriend that night in a nearby park. Unfortunately, he wasn't familiar enough with the area to tell them the name of a Muggle park. He couldn't tell them the name of the actual park he was taking Ginny to since Fée Parc, on the edge of the Wizarding shopping district, was home to the largest colony of fairies in the world. They lit up the park and were reputed to making the late night sunsets even more spectacular. Harry's plan was to put mild Glamour Charms on the two of them before going to Victoire de la Lumière. Both he and Ginny had missed being able to do anything in their own world.

The couple had given him several good places to take Ginny and Harry made a mental note to bring her back so they could visit them. Soon, Harry spotted Ginny walking towards the cafe and he quickly said his goodbyes.

They began getting ready as soon as they got back to their hotel. Harry had been completely floored by the dress Ginny chosen. It was midnight blue with thin straps and a full skirt that reached to mid-calf. The neckline dipped down far enough for a spectacular view of the freckles that were sprinkled over her shoulders and chest. Once they were both ready, they cast glamours over each other and Apparated to the restaurant.

Harry had warned Gabrielle about using disguises when he had made the reservations and he was pleased to see she was waiting to lead them to a private table when they arrived. Ginny was in awe of the restaurant and Gabrielle actually blushed from her compliments. Once she was composed, she asked Harry if he would be having his usual Filet Mignon. Harry, however, knew that bouillabaisse was one of Ginny's favourite French dishes, so he decided to try something new.

Harry steered the conversation to plans for the future, though he made sure not to even hint at marriage, while they enjoyed their wine and appetizer. When their main course was served, Harry decided the bouillabaisse looked good and began eating right away.

After only a couple of bites, however, he started to have difficulty breathing. He couldn't focus on what Ginny was saying and he stood, suddenly feeling disoriented. A wave of dizziness hit him and he sat on the floor, struggling to draw a breath and shaking his head in an attempt to clear it. A blonde woman appeared in front of him. He vaguely understood what she was saying.

"'Arry! 'Arry! Do you 'ave an allergy to zis shellfish? 'Arry!" He heard a scream as he slid the rest of the way to the floor.

'_How ironic. I've lived on an island for twenty-seven years and have never had shellfish,' _he thought as his vision blurred, before fading to black.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Ginny could say that watching Harry struggle to breathe and quickly lose consciousness was in the top five worst moments of her life. She tried hard to keep a cool head, but images from the Final Battle flashed into her mind, and she could only scream when he fell to the floor. Gabrielle and a server quickly cast spells that she couldn't focus on, and in a flash of light, she watched Harry and Gabrielle disappear.

She levelled her wand on the server, but he quickly pulled her wand from her shaking hand.

"Ma chérie, we must hurry! Gabrielle will 'ave taken your amant to L'hôpital Saint-Louis. I will take you, oui?"

Ginny could only take his hand, hoping with all her heart that Gabrielle had got Harry to the hospital in time.

A/N: All of the places below are made up (as far as I know) and meant to be Magical places in Paris.

Victoire de la Lumière – Victory of the Light (Gabrielle's restaurant)

À l'instar de Magique – Like Magic (Another restaurant)

Fée Parc – Fairy Park

L'hôpital Saint-Louis – Hospital Saint-Louis (Who is a patron saint of various places in France as well as sick people)


	8. Chapter 8

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilogue's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: Invasive journalism, a dragon, Bat-Bogey Hex, vindictive goblins, Ron misinterpreting things

Disclaimer: HP is not mine.

A/N: Much thanks to J for being a patient and helpful beta.

Chapter 8 – The Paper, the Dragon and the Mooch

L'hôpital Saint-Louis was well versed in treating foreigners with food allergies. However, even with Gabrielle trying to translate for her, Ginny couldn't really understand the mix of Healer language, French, and heavily-accented English. She was simply grateful that Harry was treated quickly with no lasting harm and that he would only need to stay until Sunday afternoon.

While Ginny had progressively calmed down once she understood that Harry would be fine, Gabrielle lost the cool composure that Ginny had envied at the restaurant. She began to quietly shriek that she should have insisted on Harry having his usual Filet Mignon and that she had almost killed Harry Potter! The glamours had faded upon entering the hospital, but Ginny was still concerned other patients or visitors might overhear Gabrielle.

It took a good quarter hour (and a well aimed Muffliato), before the young French witch finally collected herself. She quickly offered to stay with Harry so that Ginny could change out of her beautiful dress into something more comfortable. She also told Ginny that she and Harry were welcome to come to Victoire de la Lumière at any time for a free meal to make up for their interrupted one.

"I can't thank you enough. There is no need for that, but I am sure we will return soon," Ginny said, while internally debating on leaving Harry for a short time. "Do you really not mind staying with him? It would be nice to change, since I'll be sleeping here tonight."

Gabrielle waved her off and Ginny quickly left for their hotel. She packed all of their items as soon as she had changed and informed the concierge of what had happened. After making sure their bill was settled, she rushed back to the hospital. Gabrielle stayed for only a few minutes after Ginny returned, letting the English witch know that not even Fleur would hear of the incident from Gabrielle. Ginny thanked her again as she left and then settled down on a comfortable chair next to Harry's bed.

______________________________________________________________________________

The journalists had not been left behind in England any more than their bad luck had been. They had severely underestimated that newly graduated Beauxbatons intern. Later, Harry would do some digging on his own and find out that she had been dating Dennis Creevy. Dennis, bless him, had learned discretion over the years, but hadn't thought that telling his girlfriend he had seen Harry Potter at the Portkey Departure Point heading for Paris might be a bad idea. She had arranged to leave for Paris immediately, and being much more familiar with Muggle Paris than Muggle London, had tracked them to their hotel rather quickly.

The special edition of the _Daily Prophet_ would have been a wonderful study in investigative journalism if it hadn't completely exposed the relationship that Harry and Ginny had worked so hard to keep quiet for two months.

The intern had been able to find out that they had shared a suite in addition to her interviews with the Muggle staff. It didn't take much conjecture on her part (or that part of the public) to figure out what a shared suite, strawberries and expensive champagne added up to.

Then there were the pictures of them enjoying their outings to the Arc de Triomphé and Notre Dame Cathédral. They were wonderful pictures, full of smiles, hand-holding, and stolen kisses.

The picture of Harry pressing Ginny up against the wall of an alley, however, was far from family-friendly. Ginny's right leg was hooked around Harry's left hip. One of her hands was buried in his hair while the other had disappeared under his t-shirt. His left hand couldn't be seen (though it was obvious it was holding her right leg firmly in place as he ground his body into hers), but his right hand brushed against the outside of her breast. Their kiss was so intense that the only way to identify either of them was by Harry's messy hair and glasses and Ginny's flame-coloured hair and freckles. They might have been able to deny it was them, except they broke for a breath for a moment. The angle of the picture gave a perfect shot of Ginny's face and Harry turned his to the street for a second before they resumed snogging.

The woman went on to chronicle Ginny's dress shopping (including a picture of the incredibly sexy lingerie that Harry hadn't had a chance to see) as well as part of Harry's conversation with the American Muggle couple. It appeared that the intern had left the shop once Ginny began looking for less exciting accessories. She had arrived at the café in time to catch Harry wax poetic (rather girlishly) about his girlfriend, but she had either missed him admitting he was proposing that night or she had not included it.

'_It's just as well,' _Harry brooded. _'I've not had a chance to get Ginny alone long enough to propose to her since we left France.'_

The article went on to say that the couple had ended up in L'hôpital Saint-Louis. It was a testament to how seriously Gabrielle took her customers' privacy that the intern had not discovered where they had dined, though her speculation was correct. There was also absolutely no mention of Harry's allergic reaction to the bouillabaisse. Instead, the article veered from talking about the things the intern had witnessed Harry and Ginny doing in Paris and began telling the _Daily Prophet's_ readers about how L'hôpital Saint-Louis had the foremost Healers in pre-natal care and that their mid-witches were considered the best in Europe.

It concluded with some facts about both of their careers and a couple of cleverly worded sentences mentioning that they had been to St. Mungo's together twice recently and Ginny had been alone once. It neglected to say that all of the National Quidditch players were required to have a check-up with a Healer not affiliated with their National team prior to October first.

Letters poured in offering congratulations on their romance, criticism on engaging in sex prior to marriage, and happiness or disgust over their supposed pregnancy. Ginny was attacked for endangering their child by continuing to play Quidditch and Harry was accused of taking advantage of a young, impressionable girl.

Lalita, the public relations representative for the National team, worked overtime to dispel the rumours. She released a statement that was printed worldwide a day after the Special Edition was released, saying that every player was examined by the team Healers once a week. All female players were required to have a pregnancy detection spell performed on them and were put on the "Off-Broom" list immediately if there were any discrepancies in the test. Ginny wouldn't have been allowed to play if she had been pregnant, period. Lalita also pointed out that Harry was twenty-seven and Ginny was twenty-six. If these two players were romantically involved, it was hardly a case of an older man taking advantage of a very young woman. She was clever with her words as well:

"I have found countless quotes from family, friends and alleged lovers intimating that Mr. Potter is a gentleman in all of his dealings. Ms. Weasley is reputed to be very capable of taking care of her person. Additionally, it is a fact that Mr. Potter and Ms. Weasley have been friends for years. It is immoral for our publications and populace to contribute to the slander of two of our own. While it may allow many of us a respite from our tedious lives, forcing others into hiding due to nothing other than the interest of our own insatiable curiosity is a plebeian pastime. As my niece would say, 'Bloody well grow up!'"

The pressure from the press did not completely end after this, but it let up considerably. It wasn't widely known, but the World Quidditch Cup Association sent letters to the major publications letting them know that their press passes would be revoked if players were stalked.

______________________________________________________________________________

Both Harry and Ginny agreed that a visit to the Burrow was in order now that their relationship was no longer a secret.

Arthur took Harry aside and expressed his disappointment. Harry was well aware that the easy-going patriarch knew more about his children's lives than he probably cared to. He was also well aware that Arthur felt that his children were adults and rationalized that they were capable of making their own decisions and knew where to find parental guidance if necessary.

That being said, Arthur asked that they be careful about showing their relationship in public and praised Harry for being able to keep it a secret for so long. Harry asked Arthur for permission for propose to Ginny. Arthur gave Harry a bone crushing hug as he told the young man there was no need to ask. After that, he asked Harry to help him fix a leaf blower and no more was said about his daughter's sleeping arrangements.

Molly was much more understanding of the whole thing than they had expected. She admonished them (through Ginny since Harry had been talking to Arthur at the time) for "allowing their passions to carry them away." She asked if Harry had proposed yet and Ginny told her that while it hadn't happened yet, she thought it would be soon. They spent the next hour throwing out possible ideas for a wedding. Ginny tempered her mother's want of unnecessary frills with grace and Molly convinced her daughter that celebrating love required some excessiveness.

Unfortunately, the major concern for Harry shifted from the press to the Weasley brothers. Once it became known that Ginny was not pregnant, her five brothers took up a campaign to ensure they never had sex again.

Ron said that it'd stop if they just got married. George had been quick to say that it wouldn't. He went so far as to mention fitting Ginny with an irremovable chastity belt while she slept. He barely dodged the Castrating Charm she shot at him, but the massive Bat-Bogey Hex didn't miss him. He now jumped every time anything black fluttered nearby.

Out of pure spite and a lot of sexual frustration, Harry carried pieces of black cloth so that he could levitate them over George every time they ran into one another. It was most satisfactory to see him scream like a girl while covering his head with his arms and running to the nearest form of shelter.

____________________________________________________________________________

Out of all the things Ginny's brothers did to him, Bill and Charlie's plan was probably the least annoying. Bill falsified some papers at Gringotts, making it appear that Harry wanted a dragon protecting his personal vault. How Bill managed it without the Goblins knowing was a mystery, but Harry suspected that they knew and had simply looked the other way. He respected the Goblin Nation, but it didn't keep him from thinking their rancour was entirely too long-lasting and that they were a bunch of vindictive, vicious bastards.

Somehow, Charlie arranged to have the same Hungarian Horntail that Harry had gone up against at the Tri-Wizard Tournament get the job to protect his vault. She had a _long_ memory. One set of scorched robes later, Harry convinced the goblins to remove the Horntail or he'd take his money to a Muggle bank. They may have intensely disliked Harry Potter, but as one of the wealthiest wizards under the age of fifty, losing his business was not something they wanted.

Since Ginny would have done more harm to Harry than the Horntail if he had turned in her brothers, he didn't correct the goblins when they got snippy about changing his mind over his vault's security measures. Thankfully, this seemed to be the only thing Bill and Charlie had done. They, apparently, felt that he had gotten their point well enough. Bill stopped by Harry's flat later in the week to let Harry know they liked him and thought he was good for their little sister, but that they never wanted to see her name dragged through the mud again.

That was that.

They chose not to do anything to Ginny, which just proved how intelligent they really were.

___________________________________________________________________________

On his own, Ron really hadn't been too bad. Mostly he yelled, threw things, yelled some more, whined, yelled, grovelled, yelled, pleaded, yelled again, belched, yelled, ate all of the food in whomever's flat he was in, yelled obscenities, threatened to have Hermione lecture them, yelled until he was hoarse, and then calmly said he didn't care as long as they "did the right thing."

He was convinced that Ginny was responsible for all of it. Ron claimed she had spiked Harry's drink with a potion and told Harry there was no shame in shagging a girl he wouldn't normally want anything to do with. Harry hadn't known how to answer that without injuring Ron, so he had remained silent. Ginny had extracted her own revenge on her brother by lacing several food items in her flat with a laxative.

Ron stopped pestering them both after that and Harry felt that Ginny's revenge had probably been less detrimental to his own health than his own revenge plot would have been. Harry had planned to explain to Ron in minute detail exactly how much he enjoyed shagging Ron's baby sister and just how flexible she was, which would have resulted in Harry's nose being broken.

Of course, once Ron figured out that Ginny had not tricked his best friend into a relationship, he teamed up with George. While George and Ron together were nowhere near as dangerous as Fred and George had been, let it never be said that Ron Weasley didn't know how to pull a prank. He had the added advantage of being close to both Harry and Ginny and knowing just how to hit them where it hurt.


	9. Chapter 9

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilogue's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: Psyche scarring diagrams, witch that looks like Umbridge and Snape, Wizengamot trial, wacky hair.

Disclaimer: HP is not mine. Neither are Kim Possible or Flock of Seagulls.

A/N: Much thanks to J for being a patient and helpful beta.

Chapter 9 – The Expected Pranks and the Minor Inconveniences

A week after the special edition had been released, George and Ron began their reign of terror. The first prank was set up with Percy, of all people. Someone in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement Office Wards Division apparently owed Percy a favour. He had arranged it so that only "family" could enter either Harry or Ginny's flats. Oddly enough, every single Weasley male was able to enter Harry's flat. Ginny's flat only admitted blood relatives. Harry had been a little relieved to find out Fleur and Mrs. Weasley were no longer going to be able to rearrange his kitchen for him, but the fact that neither Hermione nor Ginny could get in made him pretty angry.

As soon as the wards had been changed, George and Ron took to appearing in each of their flats at all times of the day and night. They finally stopped popping in on Ginny at night after she hexed Ron with the Crab-Pincher Curse on a very sensitive area. Coach Eckley had to intervene for Harry, however.

Unfortunately, it didn't stop either of them from Flooing or Apparating over during "decent" hours. If either Harry or Ginny were at their own flats, they were forced to listen to the "hazards of sex," which included detailed Wizarding diagrams of some truly horrible STDs and pregnancy stages with moving pictures.

Regrettably for George and Ron, neither Harry Potter nor Ginevra Weasley had ever been accused of being easy to scare. Harry had been forced to have the sex talk with his uncle when he was twelve. Vernon had used even worse pictures in the hopes that Harry would become a monk and not produce any more "freaks." If Vernon Dursley couldn't scare Harry off sex, the Weasley brothers didn't stand a chance.

Ginny was the one who had originally compiled the pictures they used in an attempt to scar Ron so she wouldn't have to witness him snogging Lavender back in her fifth year. (Ron hadn't taken his mouth off Lav-Lav long enough to be scarred).

However, the popping up at "decent" hours was incredibly aggravating. Thanks to Percy the Prat, they were unable to change the wards on their flats to prohibit Ron and George from Flooing or Apparating in.

In all honesty, Harry felt that George was either losing his edge or he was listening too much to Ron. Most of the pranks, while incredibly annoying, were fairly predictable. Granted, it didn't mean that Harry (or Ginny, for that matter) wasn't affected by the pranks. It just meant that he found it a little sad that shagging his little sister didn't inspire George to do something original.

On the other hand, why should George be bothered to think of something new when the old standbys were doing such a good job at taking the piss out of Harry?

Harry figured the pictures that suddenly appeared in WWW were most likely Ron's idea. George was bold, but not a moron. So far Ginny was unaware that there were eight different pictures of her in various states of undress adorning the walls of her brothers' shop. For the sake of Ron's health, Harry hoped it stayed that way.

There was one of her running around the Burrow's garden stark naked at the age of two, and another of her wearing naught but a pair of pigtails and a pair of pink knickers with little dragons on them. Harry guessed she was about four there. The others were similar, though she was older and wore more clothing. By far the worst, however, was a picture of a scowling eight-year-old Ginny with hair was that far too curly and overdone, wearing a pink monstrosity of lace and ribbons. He knew that was when she had been the flower girl for a cousin's wedding.

There were pictures of Harry as well, but only three. The worst was the picture of him and Lockhart, but the picture of him at sixteen, sleeping on the common room couch drooling was a close second. The last picture was after he had been pulled out of the Black Lake following the Second Task during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Ron must have been desperate if he'd resorted to that to try to embarrass Harry.

He assumed the "Win a Date with Harry Potter" contest was also Ron's idea. Thankfully, that hadn't taken off. The few witches that had approached him in the hopes to win had kindly been told that he had not agreed to the contest. He had added that if they continued to harass him, they could speak with his solicitor.

George's contributions were far more inconvenient. It started with a simple Sticking Charm being enhanced with a Password Enchantment. Neither Harry nor Ginny were able to remove any of their undergarments without the correct password, which changed each time they donned their clothing. This meant contacting George just so they could take showers or go to the loo. Harry took to leaving off his shorts after the second day.

After that prank fell through, they started getting besieged by owls carrying stink pellets. The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures protested this, however, saying that this was cruel and inhumane treatment of the owls. Of course, they blamed Harry. He was given a verbal warning and told if it happened again, he would be unable to use post owls for a month. Soon after this incident, he started having issues with sending and receiving his post.

Not long after that, Harry's toothbrush and razor developed an aversion to him. He was still able to perform the Breath Freshening Charm, however, and _Witch Weekly_ praised his unshaven face as "incredibly rugged and handsome and made witches wish to be stranded with him." It was enough to make Harry faintly ill, but the charms were removed from his toiletries.

Ginny's own grooming products were similarly jinxed, but when one wizard wrote into Quidditch Monthly to say he liked her "just had sex hair," the spells were hastily removed as well.

After awhile, it was difficult to remember all of the little things George and Ron did. Tripping Jinxes were placed on their shoes. Sticking Charms prevented them from moving for hours. Ginny ranted that she had been dosed with a massive amount of Alcohol Aversion Elixir since she became ill at the thought of drinking even Butterbeer.

Overall, though, the pranks that were the most successful (besides the whole 'popping into their flats without permission' thing) were the "Hair Pranks."

Several times a week, something happened to the hair of one or both of them. Ginny had sported a variety of "girly" colours, either as streaks or a complete colour job. The day she woke up to hot pink with purple glitter, she sent undiluted Bubotuber pus in an innocuous envelope to the shop. It took Ron and George several days to get rid of the boils on their hands.

Harry's own messy hair had been turned Weasley red several times, Malfoy blonde (which was fairly disconcerting when an elderly witch asked him if his mother planned to host her annual Autumn Ball), turquoise and pink. In defiance, Harry took to putting Slytherin green streaks in his hair whenever he would see either of the youngest Weasley brothers. In a moment of genius he charmed his hair green with little shamrock confetti pieces scattered like glitter in his hair.

When he got to the pitch that day, he made sure to tell his teammates who had been charming his hair different colours. The team's head coach was something of a prankster in his day as well and somehow turned George's skin to resemble the Union Jack. George, of course, loved it and had a picture taken. He ended up using it in an advertisement that said, "Weasley Wizard Wheezes salutes Team England!" The hair colour charms stopped, but the "hair pranks" didn't end.

Then they both started sporting various hairstyles. Ginny hadn't minded having her hair look like Hermione or having dreadlocks like Angelina, but it seemed her brothers decided seeing their wives' hairstyles on their little sister was disturbing. Harry just about threw a fit, however, when he walked into his bathroom to see his hair doing a "Flock of Seagulls" impression.

It was almost a relief when they just started making his hair disappear instead. It wasn't until he was changing in the locker room that he noticed that _all_ of his hair had vanished.

He refused to answer the reporters as to why his male teammates had dubbed him "Naked Mole Rat."

______________________________________________________________________________

Percy, the prat, was the worst of the lot. He called in favours with several different people in a wide range of departments. Even George and Ron were impressed. Percy was able to effectively keep Harry and Ginny apart.

They were forced to accept that by some curious quirk of fate, neither of their Floos admitted one another, their post owls were unable to find each other and, for some strange reason, the Department of Games and Sports had set a new ruling that National Team Seekers needed to practice during the evenings while the Chasers had to practice during the mornings and afternoons.

Additionally, their wards had been "upped for their protection." Harry's Apparition License had been revoked and Ginny was being investigated by the Misuse of Muggle Artefact Office for having enchanted bras, knickers and other related lingerie. This was the first time Harry ever wished that Mr. Weasley had not been promoted. The ministry provided her with "ministry approved" undergarments that provided _quite_ a bit of coverage.

Harry was inclined to believe that the worst of these "incidents" were the Probity Probes he had been submitted to in the last two weeks in order to get his Apparition License reinstated. Ginny claimed the worst was the "Ministry approved" undergarments. Apparently, the pantaloons, for lack of a better description, bunched up significantly and made her Quidditch uniform uncomfortable. Harry chose not to say anything during the one opportunity they had five minutes alone together. Arguing over whether a Probe was more uncomfortable than granny panties (especially when she had simply stopped wearing them) took a backseat to a hurried snog against the locker room wall.

When Harry was contacted by the Department of Magical Transportation for a fourth time saying that they had lost his form, again, he finally decided to do something about Percy the Prat.

It took only one quick meeting with Hermione, who had been mostly unaware of what her husband and brothers-in-law had been doing, to find out how he could go about lodging a formal complaint of misconduct unbecoming a Ministry employee. He was rather pleased to see how livid she was about the whole situation and felt only a small pang of guilt about revealing the situation to her. Mostly, he was just worried about Ron's continued good health.

Harry was told when he filed the complaint that the Wizengamot would be unable to hold the hearing for five days. At first, Harry was quite upset, but as it took him all of his available free time during those five days to get ready, it turned out to be a good thing.

_____________________________________________________________________________

"Mr. Potter, while we understand that you are being inconvenienced, we feel that the majority of these incidents are for your safety or perfectly understandable. All of your evidence is circumstantial since not a single one of your alleged witnesses would testify here today. Written statements can only be approved as evidence if they are given to _current_ Aurors. While I agree that there seems to be a suspicious amount of coincidence involved, I can only rule it as a coincidence, based on the concrete evidence that supports that theory." The Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot smiled benignly at Harry.

His face reminded Harry too much of how Dumbledore used to look when he was dismissing Harry's opinions or suspicions and he felt a small vindictive pleasure that the man before him had done nothing significant for Harry to actually remember his name. It was Bolister or Babbably or something that started with a "B."

"Chief Warlock Nettles," a stately witch spoke up, giving Harry a little hope. "I feel we should present the evidence that counters Mr. Potter's claims. I myself have been through times when it felt as though the Ministry, or even a single Ministry employee, was out to get me. It does help to understand that these incidents were not done on purpose." Harry only just managed not to scowl at the witch as she cast a motherly smile at him.

"Certainly, Madam Quince," Chief Warlock Nettles, whose name apparently didn't begin with a "B," looked entirely too enthusiastic and relieved at this suggestion. What followed were twenty excruciating minutes where Harry was unable to interrupt. All of his evidence was blown out of the water and a snide witch in the back, who looked remarkably like a cross between Umbridge and Snape, made little comments about how he could ever have been an Auror.

The changes to their wards were deemed necessary to help protect high profile National Quidditch players. It was cited that this had been done for all of the team members. Harry tried to point out that no one else was barred from going to their significant other's home, but he was cut off. The issues with owl post were assumed to be because of his warning from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. One of the members piped up that this department could be very vindictive, especially when it came to owls.

An ongoing investigation by the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office into Erato's Elite, a high-end witch's shop that sold lingerie, was given as the reason for the seizure of Ginny's undergarments. Harry wanted to tell them that she hated the place and refused to buy anything there, but once again, no one allowed him to speak.

The continued loss of Harry's Apparation license paperwork was waved off as being a typical occurrence. Several of the Wizengamot members mentioned they had had similar issues and no one was concerned about something so important being run by people so incompetent. Probity Probes were given with tests randomly, so it was believed that Harry's name just kept getting drawn for the Probe.

By the end of their explanations, Harry was torn. On the one hand, he could see how all of these things had just _happened_. On the other hand, Ron and George seemed to believe Percy was behind it all and they were the least likely to give Percy undeserved credit. Plus, Percy had been giving Harry and Ginny self-satisfied smirks whenever he saw them. When he voiced this last desperate attempt to make someone listen to him, the snide Umbridge-Snape witch spoke very clearly for everyone.

"Mr. Potter, self-satisfied smirks do not constitute concrete evidence. If that is all you have, you are wasting our time by attempting to besmirch the name of a valuable Ministry employee. Good day to you, sir." With that, he was dismissed and he barely refrained from storming out.

'_Well then, time for plan B,'_ he thought. He stopped by Hermione's office long enough to have her give Ginny the message and then he headed for Runespore, Inc. offices. He was long overdue for a conference with his two partners.


	10. Chapter 10

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilogue's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: Giggly Draco, George in knickers, angry French woman, orange t-shirts.

Disclaimer: HP is not mine.

A/N: Much thanks to J for being a patient and helpful beta. Also a big thanks to HER beta, who came up with the idea of George in knickers.

Chapter 10 – The Slytherin Revenge Plot and the Unexpected Vengeance

Harry was well aware that when he had begun dating Ginny, eventually they would have to tell her family. A small part of him had held out hope that perhaps they could tell everyone via owl. In this little fantasy, he imagined eloping with Ginny to someplace with large expanses of beach and staying there for a few years...and not telling her family that they were married until they were also announcing the birth of a new Potter. Perhaps they could wait and just announce it when they had great-grandchildren.

Of course, he knew that, in reality, this scheme would never work. He would never leave Teddy like that, much less the Weasleys or any of his friends. Ginny would never do such a thing, either. It wasn't as though they could just leave the country. It was a nice thought, however, especially in light of how her brothers were treating them.

At first the incidents, while annoying, had been funny. Granted, it usually took him several hours to appreciate the humour, but once he calmed down, he was alright with it. In Harry's mind, he justified their actions by imagining what he would have done to Ron if Hermione hadn't explicitly told him to leave the red-head alone. Since he feared Hermione's wrath more than he worried about her reputation, it hadn't been a difficult decision to simply slap Ron on the back, congratulate him and then remind Ron that he _had _taken out Voldemort and he _did_ know quite a few nasty curses. Ron had gotten the hint and had been nothing but respectful and supportive of Harry's chosen sister.

That was where the problem really lay. Ron may have feared Harry when it came to protecting Hermione's honour, but none of the Weasley brothers were scared about Harry retaliating against pranks they played on him or Ginny. Harry had stuck up for Ginny's rights, repeatedly, over the years. If he got revenge on her behalf, he may as well sign his own Kiss certificate.

It was also well known (or at least assumed) that Harry wouldn't get back at people who wronged him because he really wasn't all that good at pranking. The last time he did prank someone, it had involved far too much blood to be funny. Granted, the Weasley brothers were unaware of the things he got up to with Theo. So, it was Theo that Harry went to for advice on all out warfare with the three youngest Weasley brothers.

At first, all Theo did was laugh hysterically. This had attracted Draco into the office and once he knew what had happened, the laughter had gotten even louder. After they both calmed down the two Slytherins got truly evil looks on their faces and Harry had to wonder if this had been a good idea.

"Hold on now! If I wanted to maim or torture them, I wouldn't have asked for your help. I'm perfectly capable of _that_. Now, humiliation and degradation...that I need some help with." Both of the men got thoughtful looks on their faces.

Draco spoke up first. "Use the press. You have to do some interviews soon anyway since the tournament is starting up. Make sure that you bring up little things about how you're thankful that the Wizengamot was able to fit you in, but that you hope not all cases are dismissed out of hand. Talk about how you think people should be able to laugh at themselves and then give a little antidote about Weasel King or his brother that makes it obvious who it is without using names."

Theo cut in. "That's a good idea, but not enough. Harry's not ruthless enough to make that a complete revenge plot by itself." He paused, staring off into space for a few moments. "I take it that hostile takeovers are out as well, yeah?"

Harry didn't bother to even nod at that one. He just raised an eyebrow and gave Theo a "look."

His dark-haired friend sighed. "I had to ask. I'm still upset that you gave Weasel King your shares of that place. Seriously, what the hell were you thinking?" Theo just shook his head, leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk.

That was something Harry had always been secretly jealous of: Slytherins could make slouching look elegant. Draco was on the office's couch, half sitting and half reclining.

'_I wonder if elegant slouching was one of the things that Snape secretly taught the Slytherins,'_ Harry thought to himself while Theo and Draco tossed some borderline illegal ideas back and forth. _'Along with "How to be a Snarky Bastard," "Using Grease to Slick Back Your Hair," and "Taking the Piss Out of Gryffindors."_

"That's all fine and good, mates, but I'm pretty sure that the use of Elvira's Brew was outlawed in the seventeenth century. Besides, if we gave Ron and George breasts, they'd just play with them." Really, that was an image he could do without.

Apparently Draco thought this was funny instead of disturbing, because he was trying very hard to hide his giggling. It surprised Harry to this day that the blond still had the mind of a twelve-year-old.

Theo had composed himself and just shook his head at his former dorm mate. "Alright, disgracing the Respectable Prat, the Court Jester, and the Weasel King," he paused to nod at Harry. "Without disfigurement, either temporary or permanent, and since spell work is your strong point, I'm thinking either a potion or runes to throw the suspicion off of you. Any thoughts, Draco?"

Draco was still smiling from the earlier discussion about the Elvira's Brew, but perked up when he heard his name. "I've got just the combination, too. We use that variation of the Babbling Brew we made back in fifth year with Blaise that made the tester focus on embarrassing things." He paused, laughing again. "Do you remember when we gave that to Flint and he told the entire common room that he'd had a dirty dream about Wood?" Both Slytherins started laughing again, though Draco's was much louder and Theo only chuckled while rolling his eyes at Harry.

Not for the first time was Harry grateful that he had been sorted into Gryffindor.

Once Draco had calmed down, he went on. "I have the altered Babbling Brew in one of my old school journals. We get them to drink it. Potter will need to come up with some way of giving it to all three of them without raising suspicion. Then we set up a runes circle in a public place and lead them to it. The circle will be set up to compel them to speak, which will activate the Babbling Brew and voila! Suddenly they're telling everyone about their most guarded secrets! I'm not good with runes, though, so Theo will need to set up the circle."

From there, the three of them started working out the details. With only a couple of Floo calls, Harry arranged to meet Ron, George and Percy at the Leaky Cauldron at the end of the week. Draco promised to have the potion ready by then. Theo suggested that, instead of setting up his own runes circle that compelled people to speak, Harry simply lead them to the rather strong one outside of the Daily Prophet office.

Harry's Gryffindor friends would have been slightly disturbed to hear the diabolical laughter coming from Harry that day. Luckily, Slytherins were used to it.

____________________________________________________________________________

Ginny knew her brothers were expecting some truly evil revenge from her, especially since they all completely underestimated Harry. She wondered if they would have tried pranking them if they knew what Harry was capable of and to whom he would go for help.

'_Doubtful. The lot of them together don't have enough sense to realize you never tickle a sleeping dragon,' _she thought as she got herself into position to exact her revenge on her eldest brothers. _'I hope my revenge meets their expectations.'_

To be honest, if Ginny wasn't fully aware that her plot would bring her brothers to their knees, she would have been disappointed with herself. It had required only a tiny bit of planning, mostly making sure that the right people were in the right places at the right times when she said the right things.

Today was the day Bill and Charlie learned that Ickle Gin-Gin knew everything and was not to be trifled with.

"Bonjour, I was not expecting you today, chérie," Fleur seemed far more enthusiastic to see Ginny than the younger woman had expected. For a moment, Ginny hesitated, realizing that her sister-in-law was probably hungry for company from someone female who was older than Victoire.

'_She could probably use the entertainment and Phlegm's even more vicious than I am,' _she cackled to herself.

"Is Bill home?"

"Non, but he should be here soon and he was bringing Charlie along," Fleur walked around the cheery kitchen, bouncing while she patted little Louis' back to calm him down. Victoire was in the living room looking at a book and Dominic was taking a nap.

Ginny thought for a moment, undecided, but then scraped her original plans. Fleur would help her, hopefully.

"Listen, I, er, didn't really come to see you, but I need a favour." She felt bad at the look of disappointment on Fleur's face. "But I did want to ask if you wanted to get together to go shopping next week. I have some free time on Saturday afternoon." Her sister-in-law perked up and they quickly made plans on where to meet.

"What is the favour?" he sister-in-law asked with a shrewd look. Ginny was immediately glad she had decided to ask for Fleur's help at the last minute. Most likely, the French witch knew or suspected why Ginny was there.

"My brothers are prats and have been terrorizing me and my boyfriend." Fleur got a murderous look on her face and Ginny remembered then that the part-Veela had had a soft spot for Harry ever since he pulled her little sister from the Black Lake.

"I'm pulling out the big wand to take care of the other three, but I need help with Bill and Charlie. They're all expecting me to prank them back, but I'm going with guilt for this one. If I, ahem, cry on your shoulder, do you think you could give a suitable reaction?" Ginny looked up hopefully. Fleur's reaction would be critical.

"Oui, but what did my husband do?"

"He and Charlie got the same dragon Harry fought in the Tournament to guard his Gringotts vault."

What happened next exceeded Ginny expectations. Fleur ranted in French for a good five minutes. Ginny had to take her little nephew from his mother so Fleur could storm about and throw her hands up in the air dramatically. She couldn't be sure since her French was bad at best, but she thought she heard some pretty rude words used to describe her eldest brothers.

"How do you want me to assist you? Harry is like my petit frère. It is my duty to protect him from those, those…huge prats."

Ginny quickly explained her plan and Fleur forced herself to calm down, though she did ask if she could add to it. Considering that Fleur looked like she was still ready to sprout a beak and wings and rip the flesh off of Ginny's brothers, the younger witch decided it was prudent to agree with whatever Fleur wanted.

They sat talking about _Dan_ for several minutes before they heard the Floo activate. That was Ginny's cue to start sobbing her heart out.

"…I really t-t-thought he was the one, F-Fleur. W-we were t-t-talking about g-getting married and," she broke off here to let out a heartbreaking wail. "I j-j-just don't know what I'm g-going to do!"

"There, there, Ginny." Fleur was playing the part of sympathetic sister-in-law perfectly. Only Ginny was aware of how angry she was when the comforting shoulder pat nearly knocked her over. "I'm sure Harry is just confused right now. He's got a lot of pressure on his shoulders with the Quidditch tournament and the press. It will all work out, mon cher. I promise."

"No, it won't!" Ginny was well aware that two sets of heavy feet had stopped just outside of the parlour's doorway. She let out another series of sobs. "H-he thinks m-m-my family h-hates him! H-he keeps saying t-t-that m-my b-b-brothers are right and that h-he's not g-g-g-good enough for me! But I l-l-l-love himmmmmmmmmm!" Her little speech was brought to a close with another wail that woke up little Louis, who joined in.

At that moment, Ginny heard Bill and Charlie rush into the room. _'Cue the prats.'_

They tripped over each other in an attempt to reassure their sister. One moment they were telling her that Harry was the best man for her and the next they were threatening to drag him here to explain that to him. Ginny and Fleur let them continue for several minutes before the older witch cut in.

"So, what exactly do you think would be an appropriate peine, mon amour? Sleeping on your mother's couch? Or perhaps I can think of something more creative. Don't think you are getting off easy, Charles. I have friends in Romania." At this point Ginny sat up and smirked at her brothers. They looked at their sister in disbelief, but at the end of Fleur's tirade, they both made the smart move of agreeing to apologize to Harry immediately.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Ginny was quite proud of her boyfriend's revenge. She hadn't asked for details since she was sure that it had been orchestrated by his Slytherin friends, but Harry had done a good job of acting innocent. Her youngest brothers were all convinced that it had been Ginny's revenge, and so they were completely unprepared for her own retribution. Not that they would have seen her form of justice coming anyway.

To throw off suspicion, Harry had blurted out that he was in love with Ginny Weasley the moment he walked into the rune circle outside of the _Daily Prophet's_ offices. While it wasn't a surprise, it was the first time either of them had publically admitted to having a relationship.

Percy had admitted that he used the Ministry expense account for lunch occasionally. It wasn't exactly earth shattering, but for straight-laced Percy, it had been horrifying.

George had divulged that he liked to wear Angelina's knickers occasionally. "In fact, I'm wearing a pair now and I look smashing if I do say so myself."

Thankfully, during the outcry from Percy and George's exclamations, the only people that heard Ron were Harry and a hidden Theo and Draco. Ron's big secret had been that he had had several naughty dreams back at Hogwarts that included Hermione _and_ Harry.

Harry had placed Silencing Charms on all of them after that and had used a Portkey to get them back to George and Ron's shop. He hadn't been able to look at Ron for several days after that and did his best to forget it. Unfortunately, Theo had been highly amused, and made up orange t-shirts that said "I dream of Potter," and sent the first one to Ron. The shirts sold out quickly. Ginny had bought one herself.

In the end, she felt that Ron's humiliation, Percy's work-inquiry and George's, well nothing really happened to George since he had taken the whole thing with his usual aplomb. He'd even started selling ladies' knickers for men. "For the wizard who wants to feel be-_witching_."

As good of a job as Harry had done, she needed her own revenge and had been saving her wild card vengeance since she was four years old. She felt this was the perfect time to unleash her secret weapon.

Ginny told her dad.

Everyone thought she would tell her mum, which was scary enough. However, while Ginevra Weasley may have been a tomboy and close to her mother, she was "Daddy's Little Princess." Her dad was always mild-mannered and hated confrontations, which was why she rarely went to him to help her with problems concerning her brothers. She didn't want to put him on the spot.

None of the Weasley boys would say what had happened when they were confronted by their father, except George. He said it made the incident with Ron and the Unbreakable Vow look like a mild breeze in comparison.

With that, the wards restricting both flats were set back to normal, Ginny was reimbursed for the cost of the confiscated lingerie (since she didn't want her old things back after Perkins' creepy nephew had had his hands on them), Harry got his Apparition license back and all of Ron and George's pranks stopped.

They even apologized.

The night after everything went back to normal was spent in Harry's flat and very little sleeping happened. Luckily, they still had four days before their first match against Iceland at home.

A/N: This is pretty much the end except for a quick Epilogue.


	11. Chapter 11

Warnings for the fic: Slightly A/U, doesn't follow Epilogue's timeline and ignores some info from JKR not included in the books. Adult language and situations.

Warnings for the chapter: Quidditch commentary, Lee Jordan, retired Quidditch player

Disclaimer: HP is not mine.

A/N: Much thanks to Jenn for being a patient and helpful beta. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of your help and hard work. Also thanks to Foria who gave me encouragement at just the right time.

Chapter 11 - Epilogue

"It really is a great day for Quidditch here in Japan with beautiful Mount Haku as our backdrop. The teams are getting warmed up after the excellent show of the countries' mascots. My name is Lee Jordan and I'll be one of the English announcers today, along with Finbar Quigley, retired captain and Beater for the Ballycastle Bats."

"Thanks, Lee. It's an honour to share the box with a veteran World Cup announcer. This is the third game for England and this is the game that could make or break the team. Japan has been strong in the last three World Cups and their first two games against Luxembourg and Egypt were hard fought. In the end, however, it appeared Japan's unique flying styles and incredible teamwork proved that they were the better team."

"While England is already in second place points-wise, Japan has a history of keeping their opponents' scores low. Of course we are going to be slightly biased for our home country, but I believe that this England team has an excellent shot at getting past Japan. Our Chasers, both the regulars and the reserves, work so seamlessly together that it's like poetry on a broomstick."

"I agree, Lee. Additionally, our Beaters are strong. I can't say I've ever seen a pair work together that well, can you?"

"Well, Finbar, I can, although the beaters I'm thinking of never went on to play past Hogwarts. They were a set of twins and seemed to read each other's minds. I will say that Harding Winters and Jett Goshawk have that same flawless collaboration that makes you wonder if they know what their partner is thinking."

"I agree. As a former Beater, I can say that being able to anticipate your partner is even more important than anticipating where the Bludger will go. Besides excellent Chasers and Beaters, our Keeper has the lowest goals-scored percentage in the Tournament as we speak. Salima Abbas has protected the goals at Holyhead for years and her numbers are astounding. I wish we could have had her back in the eighties."

"She was just starting Hogwarts when you could have used her, Finbar. It goes without saying, of course, that Harry Potter is one of the best, if not _the_ best, Seeker in the world. Throughout his entire career, which began at Hogwarts at age eleven, he has been beaten to the Snitch less than ten times. Folks, he's been a Seeker for thirteen years. That kind of record is unbelievable. Only Viktor Krum from Bulgaria can say he has beaten Harry Potter to the Snitch two times, one of which Potter had a dislocated shoulder and a broken leg. Krum is the only other Seeker to have a record even close to Potter's with twenty-five defeats, three of which were to Potter."

"I think it's safe to say that Japan, while excellent, has their work cut out for them. For England, a defeat by Japan will only make their standing in the overall tournament difficult if Japan keeps the scores low. A win for England, however, will not only help the points, but boost morale. In this tournament, it's the mental game that will be the ultimate factor over who wins and who goes home."

"That is an excellent point, Finbar. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my honour to announce Team England. Playing in the position of Keeper is Salima Abbas. In the position of right side Beater and Captain, Jett Goshawk, while left side Beater is held by Harding Winters. Our Seeker and resident destroyer of Dark Lords, Harry Potter! Sorry, Harry, I couldn't resist! Last, but certainly not least, the loveliest Chasers in the Tournament: in the right side position is Emily Aubrey, in the left side position is Fleta Maddock, and in the centre position, and being introduced this way for the first time, is Ginny _Potter_!"

"The Quaffle has been released and possession goes to the new Mrs. Potter. I have to ask, Lee, when did _this_ happen?"

"A flawless pass to Maddock, back to Potter, and then to Aubrey, who shoots, but is blocked by Japan. Well, Finbar, Harry proposed to Ginny right before their first game against Iceland and they were married in a small ceremony during the short time back in England between their last game in Brazil and leaving for Japan. Nice save by Abbas and the Quaffle is flown down the pitch by Potter. Japan's Keeper dodges a Bludger that was hit by Winters and Potter scores! Anyway, they've been married for almost a week now, and I must say it was a lovely ceremony. If I may say so, it's about damn time, Potter!"

A/N: Yes, the story ends right here.


End file.
